This year began with my husband and I going somewhere, just not knowing where we were going. I raise sheep for a small income. My husband works to provide our main income. In November he was dismissed from is job. We were living on the modest income from the sheep and our savings.
I learned that applying for work has changed. Everything is done on the internet. There is no walking into a business, and filling out an application, even if they have a sign on the window saying they were hiring. I submitted applications for employment for myself and for my husband. My husband had a few interviews, but we would not receive news concerning any jobs until after the New Year. We felt like we were flying, but did not know where we were going to land, but we were going somewhere.
Since we were no longer restricted to staying where we currently live due to my husband’s employment. He was applying for jobs in other parts of the state, meaning we would be moving. We both really desired to move closer to my daughter and her family, to be closer to the grandchildren.
After the New Year, I received a call for an interview at the small grocery store where we live. At the interview I was hired. I have not worked outside of the farm for fourteen years. A day after my interview and hire, my husband received a call for an interview for a place of employment near where we live. He asked during the interview the possibility of transferring to the area where my daughter lives. A couple of days later, he received a call, after a short interview he was hired to work in the area where my daughter lives. We are both employed.
It is going to take time to get our place ready to sell, for us to find another place to move to near my daughter. I will be able to continue working and caring for the sheep while we do some minor repairs and repainting on the house to ready the house to sell. We are also dividing our property in order to sell for more money. The process of dividing property takes time. We have a plan for temporary housing for my husband if the need arises.
We are no longer just flying, but we have a destination, the destination of our heart. I have started the process of packing up what we do not use everyday. Getting rid of what we do not need. Our destination of finding a new home, and moving is now in sight.
A valid question to a person who writes. There are people who write for money, either a paid assignment and those who write to sell books. My reason for writing started for one reason and evolved into another reason.
I wrote in school, reports on school subjects in order to pass a class. I did not consider myself a creative writer. In college, it was the same, facts gathered and put on paper for a grade. In August of 2020, I started a blog, grannys-homestead.com to share information on raising sheep. There was information on the internet and in books, but some was very general with no real answers. Others were from universities with a lot of scientific terms, hard for most people to understand. I wanted to share my knowledge and experience raising sheep with others. To share how I treated a sheep with this problem, or what I did to prevent a problem. Then I joined bloganuary and started a blog this blog. I enjoyed what I was writing about, I wanted to continue and share my words with others.
As I wrote blogs, and read others’ blogs, I realized I enjoy writing, and not just facts that I have gathered. I enjoy sharing my knowledge of several subjects with those who want to learn more. Some of my methods of doing things, such as gardening, was taught to me by my grandfather, and I want to share that information.
Now, I write for my grandchildren. My children and their families live in several states, and are far apart. I want my children to have the information I was taught. I want to pass the information and a piece of myself forward to my grandchildren.
Along this journey, I have found a way to express what is inside myself. I have learned people enjoy my events of being a sheep farmer and some of the “crazy” things I do. Bringing people joy, is fun. I live a different life than most, I enjoy different things than most. These are things I want to share with others to broaden their world.
The ever elusive joy, sought after, bribed and bought by some, yet really not there. Some go up to mountains of joy and fall into valleys of despair, only to climb another mountain of joy. Others seem to leisurely float through life on a river of joy, where there are no rapids, waterfalls or rain.
Joy, often treated as a noun or possession, in truth joy is a state of being or place. You can leave joy if you chose, or you can learn to be in joy, the choice is yours. There is no map to joy, as joy is individual like the one who is seeking it.
The first thing to do to have joy is to stop. Just like the prompt states “What Brings…you joy?” Joy is brought to you. The only way to have something brought to you, is for you to stop.
The little things bring me joy, birds feeding in my front yard, lambs playing with each other, a bottle baby goat named Spot, a smile on a child’s face, or from someone I have helped. Watching the sunrise and the sunset for no painting ever captures the colors so perfectly. To see these things, I must stop, put what I am doing on “pause”, to see the joy around me. Then push “forward” and go about my day.
There is another item need in order for joy to be brought to you, that is peace. Being anxious or fretful or angry drives joy away. Get peace, the stop so joy can be brought to you.
March 2020, lockdowns in the United States due to Covid-19 outbreak, turned pandemic. I had plans that year of traveling. Every year, at the end of May when school lets out for the summer, I travel from Texas to Colorado to pick up my grandson, Mr. J, for our summer visit. This year was even more special, Mr. J’s father and his wife were expecting identical twins. The first multiple birth in our family. The plans were for me to have my visit with Mr. J for our regular three weeks. Return to Colorado with him in June, and stay to help out before and when the twins arrive at the end of July.
LOCKDOWN: NO ONE LEAVE THEIR STATE, NO GATHERINGS, NO TRAVEL
All my travel plans are cancelled. No one can enter the state of Colorado, especially if they are from Texas. A travel ban put in place by the state of Colorado. I would not see my grandson in 2020. I would not be there to help my son, his wife with their three children while she was on bed rest due her pregnancy of identical twins.
Health visits were restricted to what was absolutely necessary. Medical procedures were only done for life threatening conditions. A pregnancy of twins is not considered life threatening. The bare minimum of ultrasounds and doctor visits were allowed for my daughter-in-law and her identical twin boys.
In June what would have become a weekly visit to see the doctor and be examined, were instead telephone visits with a once a month physical exam. The middle of July, my daughter-in-law felt things were not right, but there were no physical symptoms of things being wrong.
The end of July, she went to the hospital, said she felt something wrong as the babies had not moved for a few days. They performed an ultrasound, her last one was performed three months prior. They were looking to see if the babies were practicing breathing, and lung development for a possible delivery. During the ultrasound one of the twins started to crash, heart beat dove downward – an emergency delivery was performed.
For three and half hours they worked on Eugene, trying to get oxygen in his system and his vitals stable. There was no more they could do. Our little Eugene died. The cause, Twin to Twin Transfusion that could have been detected by ultrasound if one had been performed.
Was it the fault of her regular doctor? Who is to blame for not identifying the condition and her receiving treatment for this condition?
Upon medical review by the state of Colorado and an outside source, as there was a lawsuit brought forth, the attending physician did all they were allowed to do at the time for the care of a pregnant woman carrying twins. The restriction of medical procedures in hospitals, because the ultrasound to look for twin to twin transfusion is only able to be done with equipment located in a hospital where my son and his family are located, is the cause of the death. Twin to Twin Transfusion is not life-threatening unless it is identified. To identify Twin to Twin Transfusion requires regular ultrasounds to monitor the development of the babies and placenta during the pregnancy.
Those restrictions put into place to prevent and control the spread of Covid-19, would not allow my daughter-in-law to have an ultrasound just to monitor the babies, something had to be wrong first. When they knew something was wrong, it was too late.
To lose a child is no greater pain. I was unable to be with my son, my daughter-in-law and grandchildren during this time of lose. Our family suffered the loss of a child, a nephew, a cousin, a grandchild separated by regulations and restrictions. There was no memorial, as most of us could not even enter the state of Colorado due to the state regulations on travel.
The greatest treasure is family. The time spent with family to make memories, to help and assist when needed are joys we all share. Yet, this treasure was taken from us in order for a virus to be controlled and treated.
Did those restrictions help? I doubt it, as the virus is still here, the vaccines do not work as those vaccinated still get Covid-19. Now we live without all the restrictions and the number of cases are the same, although the deaths have dropped because now they know what treatments work.
Bloganaury prompt for day #3: What is your earliest memories?
Watching over me as I sleep each night, perched on a high shelf. He sits in a place of honor not shared with others. Aged by decades of time, the fur is rough and dull, the whiskers are gone, a treasured gift from long ago. A physical rement of a joyous memory created in the wee years of childhood.
My dad awoke me from my sleep, “It is Christmas. Come see what Santa brought”. I climbed out of bed, along with my sister. We walked into the living room, and next to the Christmas tree was two tricycles, each had a stuffed animal on the seat and a pair of snow boots next to them. I was so excited my feet ran in place like three year olds do. My dad walked to the tree, and rolled a tricycle towards me carrying the tiger. I grabbed the tiger and hugged him, his fur soft and pleasant to touch. Then we climbed back on the tricycle, me in the seat and him under my arm. I fumbled with the petals, finally getting the tricycle to go forward, with no control in the direction of travel. We bumped into an end table. “Perhaps you should learn to ride your bike outside.” Mom said. My dad took me off the seat, “You can do this outside. Look there are other gifts.” I do not remember opening the other gifts, or what they were. I remember seeing the tricycle and my new companion.
I have treasured my friend, Tiger, through decades. The early years together I carried him everywhere I was allowed to under my arm. At night for he slept with me. Together we made many moves, traveled to different states. Some years he spent in a trunk of treasured memories. Until a time came for him to once again take the honored place of watching over me as I sleep.
Bloganuary prompt for day 2 is “How are you brave”.
In contemplating an answer to this prompt, I need a definition for the word: brave. According to my 1921 pocket dictionary, New Universal Self-Pronouncing Dictionary of the English Language, brave as an adjective is defined as bold, courageous. As a noun, brave is defined an Indian warrior. Brave is also a verb, an action word, defined: to encounter with firmness; defy. This particular dictionary also listed three synonyms of brave: dare, defy, bold.
Yes, I do own the 1921 pocket dictionary New Universal Self-Pronouncing Dictionary of the English Language, which is very dear to me and has a story that I will share at a later date.
My first thoughts upon reading this prompt, “How are you brave”, I am not brave. I live a life enveloped with anxiety most of the time. Yet, my anxiety is a symptom of having trust issues. Simply, I do not trust the majority of people. But I am brave, my anxiety covers up the brave that is inside. There are times people will see my brave heart, when it pushes past the anxiety and shows itself to those around like a ray of bright sunlight through the dark clouds. Sometimes my brave heart burst through with blinding light and leaves those who have witnessed in wonder.
One event where my bravery burst through and left people speechless was at a sheep auction. I am a sheep farmer who raises registered Dorper sheep. I attend this sheep and goat auction place regularly. Most people who have seen me through the years respect me as a sheep farmer, but also know I am not real verbal in my bidding, it is a nod of the head for yes and a shake when I am done. Most of the time I do not speak or even bid on animals.
On this particular sheep auction day, there were some registered Dorper rams going up for bid, I needed a Dorper ram to add to my flock. I arrived at the auction grounds early on that day. I went inside and thoroughly looked at the registration papers and selected three of six rams whose breeding I liked. Then I went to look at the rams. I got in the pen and made them walk around, checking teeth and other important body parts. I was done with my inspection and evaluation of the Dorper rams before others were arriving. As other buyers arrived and entered the sheep and goat staging area to look at what was there, I would casually walk around, keeping an eye on the pen of rams, seeing who else might be interested in the same rams I was. It is not uncommon to see me walking among the pens as I do it every auction, even when I am not buying or selling. It is a place to talk to those you know and to see what people are raising in my area and beyond.
Auctioneer announced ten minutes to starting. I went inside to get a seat and wait. The big buyers sit on the front two rows, rule at the auction places is those who spend the most money get the choice seats. I was sitting near the back. I watched the sheep and goats enter, be bid on, and leave; patiently waiting for the ram I was going to buy entered the ring. Then the brought in the Dorper rams.
The auctioneer announced these rams as registered Dorper rams, and the buyer would have choice of the rams. When the auctioneer started talking, I started walking right up to the front of the seats and stood. Clearly and loudly and firmly, “I bid $800.” The whole auction place was silent except for bleating sheep. The young auctioneer looked at me. The auction owner was looking at me with great surprise. I had never spoken to start a bid, and I had never purchased an animal for more than $400. Then the auctioneer looked at the auction owner, they were discussing the a much lower starting bid before I spoke. The young auctioneer, shrugged his shoulders like “what do I do?”. The auction owner stated, “There is a bid on the floor for $800.” Then the bidding started. After a few nods, I had purchased my choice of which rams in the bunch of six I wanted to pay for and take home. Then I walked to the auction ring fence, after checking my hand for the number on the animal I wished to buy, selected my ram. The auction owner was smiling at me, as he had is flag used to move animals on the back of the ram I had chosen.
On that day, everyone at the auction seen there was bravery inside of me. The young auctioneer was blinded and speechless as was the auction owner. I had walked firmly to the front, defying all other bidders to state loudly and clearly the price I was willing to pay for the ram of my choice. The young auctioneer and auction owner see me at every auction for years. It was not like the other times I waited for the bid to drop to the bottom, then silently raise a hand, then nod, bidding until I won or quitting with a shake of my head. I am what is called a silent bidder, staying at the back, not seen my most and never a word heard.
So, why was I different at this particular auction and not that way at the others. I wanted to control the bidding. By going forward with purpose, and firmly, clearly and loudly stating my bid, I took the power away from the auctioneer.
To understand an auction, the auctioneer gets people to bid and works at getting the bids higher and higher. The auctioneer’s tools are is sing-song speech and working on people’s emotions. Starting the bidding low, more people bid, the more people bidding the more competition to win the bid. People by nature are competitive. There are people who go to the auction and spend way more than they ever intended because the fell under the auctioneer’s spell.
Starting the bid firmly without a question of doubt, I was buying the ram for at least $800. This bid put forth without the emotions going, I got rid of my competitors. When a bid starts that high, only the sober will bid higher. I got rid of emotional competitors in the purchase of the ram I wanted.
The majority of days, I do not feel brave, as I am fighting my anxiety. That day, I was brave, no anxiety. That happened February, 2022. Today, I no longer have to raise a hand to be noticed, I just stand up or step towards the ring and give a nod.
The registered Fullblood Dorper ram, Jumbo, I purchased February 2022
I think each person has bravery within themselves. It may not be seen, but it is there.
The prompt for the first day is: What is Something you want to achieve this year?
Write. I want to be more disciplined concerning a set time in my busy schedule to write. I enjoy the activity and creativity of writing. My occupation is a sheep farmer. I raise sheep for income. There are times during the year, especially lambing time, that I am very busy. I am a wife, grandmother, and gardner. Although I am busy, I still need to set time apart from everything else to write. I joined Bloganuary last year, I was able to put words into a post almost everyday. This year, one post each day is the goal.
I do not want to just write a post, but write posts that are enjoyable to read and interesting. I desire improvement of my use of words in describing feelings, places, and action. Not just put short thoughts to words, and call it writing. Grow my writing skills to communicate what I feel, see, smell and hear in the thoughts I am trying to put into words to share with others.
I am working at improving my use of grammar. This one is a little more difficult as I currently am the only editor, but I am discussing with two others on assisting me with this area of improvement.
All of these improvements is to lead to a main goal, get my novel finished and published. I started my novel this past summer, and the progress has been slow. I want to finish and have this novel ready for publication the summer of 2023, if not sooner.
A simple goal when put to words, a challenging goal with applied to my life.
The year 2022 has been good, a big improvement over the two years prior. There were many blessings for me and my family. But it is now time to bid you farewell. I will see you to the door while holding a glass as I toast in the New Year. You have not been a bad year, but I do believe it is time for you to go.
As I prepare to celebrate your departure, I reminisce of this year’s events. You, Year 2022, will be most remembered as the year that marked the arrival of my last grandchildren. This year will be remembered as I look at my son and daughter-in-law’s long desired daughter, four boys and finally a daughter to make their family complete. Four boys are good, but sometimes mothers want a little of themselves to share. I am sure she will be spoiled. She has the look of a princess with four knights by her side.
Let us not forget the journey of Baby A, Baby B and Baby C. A huge surprise you brought us in March. A year entangled with prayer and hope to see if a set of triplets would enter our family fold. We were not disappointed, they arrived all well and good. Three growing healthy boys we added in the end.
Not least among the year’s events was a visit from my oldest daughter with her three children in tow. There first visit to the farm brought lot of laughter and joy. Grandchildren finally were able to ride the famed Victoria and found all the stories were true. She will follow a cow without a miss or a cue. Her sudden moves a little scary, but the ride was exciting. We ate, played games, laughed and had fun. As I reminisce this year 2022 the creation of memories to last a lifetime we made.
You were not all joy and fun, you brought some strong winds of change. Some might call it a tornado when a source of income is done. My husband’s on a journey of finding work again. Where we might land is the question. But you will not bring the answer to us, for your time is now done. The New Year will determine where and when we land.
There are dreams and hopes we have as our New Year arrives. The New Year will bring untold blessings and challenges that will be revealed as the New Year and us journey forward together.
You and I will travel towards the door of departure with games, fun, food and fest. Out the door you must go and have your rest.
Recently I have read several posts on the internet from studies about New Year’s resolutions. They all said the same statistics that 41% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, and on 9% of those keep or achieve those resolutions. I have always made New Year’s resolutions with the exception of last year. I did not make any resolutions for last year. I make goals for my sheep farm as part of a yearly business plan, but last year I made no goals or resolutions for me personally.
I read a blog by Dr.Shelly C., Success Strategies, in her post “TED Talk 2023 Public Quest: Would you Share Your Private Goals?” she listed others goals for 2023. One goal stood out for me, “Work on 2020 goals”. In 2020 the Covid-19 pandemic arrived, and many of us lived day to day. The blog does not list what the specific goals for this person are, but the fact they still want to accomplish those goals show the importance of the goals.
Among my readings I came across many statements saying if you make a goal you need a plan to achieve the goal. In the past I have made resolutions for change with no plan at all on how I was going to reach the goal. Goals do not just show up, there needs to be a plan on reaching the goal. A person does not change their habits without a plan. The more specific the plan is increases the likelihood the goal will be achieved.
In 2021, one of my goals was to lose weight. To lose weight I needed to eat differently than I was and to exercise. I searched for healthier recipes, learned different cooking techniques and exercised beyond just the work on the farm. I lost weight, not all of the weight I wanted to lose, but I still lost weight and felt better. In 2022 I did not work at losing weight. I maintained my eating habits, but dropped the exercise. In response my body added a few, not many, pounds back. I still want to lose the weight, but I will have to be disciplined in exercise to continue with the progress I made in 2021 and reach my desired weight in 2023.
Another point that was made in my readings on the internet was if a person makes a resolution, besides a plan, they have to have a specific reason for the resolution. My desire to lose weight is not to fit into a bikini in the summer, but for my health. Lowering my weight will lower my risks for heart attack, stroke and other health issues as I get older. Since I do not know what my medical history of my parents are due to being adopted, it is best I take the best care of myself as I can. I want to be around for my grandchildren as long as I can, to share their lives. I want to see great grandchildren and even great-great grandchildren. In order to achieve those goals, I need to reach the goal of a healthy weight now.
I have a reason for my resolution of losing weight, and a plan. The statistics of me reaching my goal are good.
Perhaps there are goals you want, but not sure how to reach them. Such as “I want to travel more.” Look at your goal, what do you need to reach that goal? Then make a plan on reaching what is needed to be able to travel more. I spoke with a young man in Wal-Mart yesterday who said he wanted to travel more in 2023, make a few roadtrips. When I asked where he wanted to go, he did not know. If you want to travel, but do not know where you want to go, which direction are you going to travel to reach a destination.
Will you know when you have reached a destination if you do not know where you are going? I think this question sums up why we make resolutions, we want to reach some destination of personal growth as we travel life.
If you are happy with yourself, and your career, and all things about you, perhaps you do not need goals or resolutions. If there is something you wish to be better at such as time management, or organization, perhaps lose a few extra pounds or eat healthier, then perhaps setting a goal with a plan to reach the desired change is needed.
It seems the more years I live, the faster the time goes by. I look back at all the events of 2022. Each year brings change, a mixture of blessing and sadness. What a busy and blessed year I have had. The year 2022 was not all joy and happiness, there were times of sadness. As we traveled through the year, we were able to meet the challenges with finances for what the occasion required. I am thankful for the blessing of our finances in the year 2022.
The year started with sadness as we learned my husband’s sister had cancer, and it was advanced to the condition treatments would not help. We were blessed in the fact he was able to travel twice to see her before she passed. He was able to attend her memorial and the spreading of her ashes. Most years our finances would not have allowed for the travel.
My oldest son finally procured a job he had been striving to obtain for the past two years. An opening came and he was hired. This job has different working hours which allows his daughter to be able to participate in school sports and activities. Prior, he would not be off work in time to pick her up after the activities. His wife does not drive. So my granddaughter could not pursue any after school activities. This year she has go out for every sport, and enjoyed them as well as some after school clubs.
The beginning of the year brought us the happy news of additional grandchildren to be added to our family. My son and his wife were expecting another child in June. In March, we learned my daughter was expecting, triplets.
April came in as most springs and the news my son and his wife’s baby is a girl. Girls are rare among the grandchildren (5 granddaughters, 10 grandsons ). In June, I was able to visit my daughter-in-law and hold my new granddaughter in the hospital, which is very special as I have not been able to make very many of the births of my grandchildren. While living in Texas has had many blessings, the one disadvantage is that we are so far away from family.
May is always a happy time for me. May is when I go to Colorado and bring my grandson, Mr. J, down for a few weeks visit. When Mr. J was two, he lived with us for almost a year, and each year since he has come for a visit. This year we fished almost everyday. I taught him to fish. Our favorite fish to try to catch, catfish. We have caught some large ones and this year was no different. Yet, my grandson out fishes me with more fish and larger fish. It is always a joy to have him visit. Then on the return home, we arrived when his little sister and my granddaughter was born.
July, my oldest daughter and her three children made their first visit to our farm. It was great to give my grandchildren horseback lessons and play with baby lambs. We visited my youngest daughter and her family. Enjoyed some really good smoked Bar B Q, as my son-in-law is an awesome cook. Played games and watched movies. It was a real blessing and time of sharing having both my daughters and their children under one roof having fun and making memories. A week does not last long, but we managed to create many memories in one week.
In September, I went and stayed with my granddaughter and son-in-law as my youngest daughter was hospitalized due to her pregnancy with triplets. My daughter was informed she would eventually have to be hospitalized because of the strain triplets are on the mother’s body as soon as July. She was able to stay home until two weeks before their scheduled delivery. They made it to scheduled delivery time and were not placed in the NICU unit, as the boys were healthy and able to breath on their own. A true answer to prayer as it is the first time that hospital has had triplets born that did not go to the NICU unit.
I was blessed with being able to stay with them and help for five weeks. I truly enjoyed the time with my granddaughter, Ms. E., taking her to and from school, sleeping with her and assisting with her homework. Ms. E. thought is was good her Granny was staying with her and thought it would be best if I just stayed and lived with them. But I needed to get back to the farm as lambs were soon to be born and Papa needed help.
With the birth of the triplets, I also was told my uncle had passed, just a few days before their birth. The last of my dad’s brothers and one I was close to. His health had not been good the past few years. I was unable to attend his funeral service as I was caring for my granddaughter and could not leave.
October brought my youngest son moving his family to Indiana. His home sold in Colorado for the asking price and in a depressed market, and he was able to move his family to where he is working, Indiana. It is good for a family to be together, and this move was good. Although he is two hours closer to where we live, it is still a long way for a visit.
November arrived and we were hit with the challenge of my husband being dismissed from work. We had planned on him staying at this employment until he retires in a five years, but things happen, plans change. Although he was unemployed, I was happy he no longer was working for this company. After a few days at the house, I had the man I married almost fourteen years, back. This job had created so much frustration and irritation to him, he would come home grumpy. He was grumpy and tired every evening. Now he has peace, laughter and joy back in his life daily. While we are living from a savings account, there is peace about our future. We are not sure what is ahead of us, but we have peace on where we are. Will it be a new business? will the sheep make enough income? or will the next employment be a job he really enjoys? Will we live closer to my daughter? All questions with very few answers, but peace all the time.
The year of 2022 has brought many changes to our family, most of those changes are blessings. While we will miss those who have passed, we have so much to be thankful for.
Me, Myself and I 