Dealing with Grief

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I have taken some time away from my blog to grieve, grieve for my sister-in-law, Sally. Sally went to be with the Lord the day before Easter this year. A memorial was held on May 7, and her ashes spread on May 8, Mother’s Day.

I was unable to attend. The services and placement of her ashes were in Wyoming, a long way from where I live. My husband attended. Being separated during the time of grieving for a close relative is difficult. I wanted to be next to him with love, support and comfort. He had lost his only full sibling, two years his junior.

I had met and visited with Sally on several occasions. When we traveled north to visit family, I made sure we visited her, let her know she was accepted by her brother’s new wife, and she was important. We hit it off. She enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed hers.

I wished I had been able to visit her in person before her stepping through the door, but it was not to be. I am a sheep farmer, responsible for the well being of my sheep, horses and dogs. She understood my situation.

My husband brought back a few personal things that belonged to her. Sally had few possessions, she only kept what meant the most to her. A family portrait, a clown statue her mother had, a few Christmas ornaments, a verse she had written while missing her mother, little things attached to memories.

A sister-in-law chose a leather jacket Sally always wore. Inside the pocket was the ticket stub when we all gathered in Texas for the State Fair of Texas. The last time all four siblings were together. That occasion meant alot to all of us, but apparently was very important to Sally. Everytime she placed her hand in the pocket, she was reminded of being with her sibling, half-siblings and their spouses. The happy day of all of us together sharing memories and making new ones.

Her life was not easy. Their parents divorced when she was two years old. Her father did not spend much time with her due to different situations. Her stepdad did not accept her. She longed for a father’s love. She was closests to her mother, and when their mother went home to the Lord, Sally was lonely.

The day before Easter, the day celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, Sally went to be with her Heavenly Father. She was baptised as a young girl, but was not raised in church. She loved God, she prayed, but she was unable to touch or feel God. Sally now has the touch and feel of a Father’s Love, something she searched for during her lifetime.

We all grieve in different ways. I choose solitude and prayer. I am gradually finding the places to put the few things we have from Sally. She will always remain in our hearts, and will have a place in our home.

amtolle