Spring’s Arrival

For centuries people have tried to predict when Spring would arrive. In the 1600’s people gathered to have candles blessed at the church in a ceremony call Candlemas held February 1. Considering the only light people had was candles and light symbolized hope and life. In 1678 a poem was written by John Ray capturing the belief and hope of the era on when spring would arrive.

If Candlemas day be fair and bright

Winter will have another fight

If on Candlemas day it be shower and rain

Winter is gone and will not come again.”

Today, February 2 we await the prediction of Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who if he sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter. If Punxsutawney Phil does not see his shadow, spring is on its way. This tradition was brought to America by the Dutch Germans who immigrated to Pennsylvania. The tradition began in the 1800’s and they used a groundhog instead of a badger to predict the arrival of spring. In Europe a badger was used at the predictor of spring on the second day of February. Today, the second day of February is an American holiday named Groundhog Day.

These myths or folklore were started when agriculture was the main industry everywhere. The importance of getting seed into the ground and starting towards a harvest were key to survival. Not only did agriculture provide income for the farmer, but was the food for the community. There were no grocery stores, therefore the survival of an area depended on the farmers and their ability to grow and harvest the food for winter.

Today, we enjoy the traditions of long ago. Our society has changed, but farmers are still needed to plant the seed and provide the harvest that eventually is set on our dinning room tables to eat. A farmer still would like to know when spring will arrive in order to get the seed in the ground.

According to CNN, Punxsutawney Phil has seen his shadow. We will have six more weeks of winter. According to the Candlemas poem, my area will have spring soon, as we have received snow and freezing rain with no sign of the sun.

amtolle

Just Some Thoughts

Now that Bloganuary is over, I am going to have to create my own daily prompts or creative idea to compose an interesting bit of writing about. I was looking at what February celebrates. February is Black History Month.

One of my favorite speakers and preachers was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. He spoke with such elegance and of the future. There are several of his sermons recorded and his speeches. I have read and listened to several of them. The most notable that many people quote is his speech in front of the Abraham Lincoln Memorial, “I Have A Dream”. This speech was given at the completion of a peace protest march in the capital, Washington, D.C. Throughout his sermons and speeches he spoke of change without violence.

Today, in the news was the memorial service for Tyre Nichols. Such sadness as this is not a hate crime of color, as was with George Floyd. When watching the video, I thought of the gang violence in the cities. Gangs fighting and killing others belonging to a different gang is what the video resembled to me, an outsider of their culture. The only difference from watching gangs try to destroy each other is the men attacking wore a badge. What was the reason for such brutality? Cities and the way the culture among those who live there is unknown to me.

Change, everyone says they want change. But as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated change by uniting with a common cause without violence I have not seen. For violence only begins more violence. Violence brings division among each other. Change will only come when each individual wants to unite in peace together.

I still dream of the day when Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s words will be true for all mankind.

R.I.P. Tyre Nichols.

amtolle

Bloganuary 2023 Challenge

The final day of January 2023 and Bloganuary 2023. Last year I started blogging on this site during Bloganuary 2022. I had started late for Bloganuary 2022. I found there is more work in writing a post each day last January. I struggled with creating a post everyday based on the prompt given. I also learned during last year’s challenge, I have the ability to put words together for others’ enjoyment.

This year as part of my goals for my life was to be more consistent in writing, not only the blogs but also my books. I am happy to say I have so far maintained the goal. This year’s Bloganuary 2023 Challenge was a challenge due to I also started working outside my sheep farm in January. The job has been good in a personal growth opportunity for me. Something I felt ready to face and achieve at this time in my life.

Having a job plus the sheep farm plus house hold plus writing, required discipline in time management. I was able to get each day’s blog written and posted that day. Today, I even excelled that expectation as I was the first to post. The sheep are the priority of my life as far as work goes, and I have not missed in their care. My job has varied days and hours, mostly early morning hours, and I have been able to meet the requirements of my job and find joy in working. My household duties have always taken seat fiddle to the farm.

The addition of a job, the household duties are now sitting third fiddle. I was concerned with having a job and being able to keep the household to the standard I had kept it the past few years. I am pleased that I have been able to care for the sheep, work a job and maintain my house. When I first started working, my husband was still waiting on a job. It was easy to transition into having a job, the sheep and household. My husband would help with the sheep and cook the dinners. Now that he is working and leaving for work before I do, I have taken the full responsibility for the sheep and household. Having a transition time, helped me to organize my time to manage to do all that needs to be done in a day. I have also been writing every day.

I appreciate the work and thought that went into hosting the Bloganuary 2023 Challenge, thank you Mindy Potsoff. Thank you to those who have stopped to read my post and to follow my blog. I appreciate all the commits. The one thing I did not do well this year was read more of other’s posts. Last year I was able to spend the time to read a lot more posts by others during the challenge month. As time allows I will continue to read the posts of each daily prompt, do not be surprised if a comment or like is posted in May.

Thank you everyone for participating in this years writing challenge Bloganuary 2023

amtolle

Sunrise, Sunset

Bloganaury Daily Prompt #31: Where is the best place to watch a sunset near you?

I love watching the sunset, more than a sunrise. There are more vivid colors during a sunset. Although the sunrise is not to be shunned as during a sunrise you can see the rays of light just before the sun starts to peak above the horizon. I am fortunate as the majority of my years I have lived in a place where the sunrises and sunsets have not be obstructed by houses, buildings or other manmade structures.

I have lived in the states of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Texas. The states with the most vivid colorful sunrises and sunsets are New Mexico and Colorado.

I currently live in Texas. In the morning I sit at my dinning table and wait for the sun to approach the day with a cup of coffee. I watch from the large sliding glass door as the light beams reach towards the sky announcing the arrival of morning. As the sun tops the horizon, my home is flooded with golden and sometimes pinks hues of light. When the sun appears in all it’s glory is time for the coffee break to end and chores to begin and my day.

Sunset over Sleeping Ute Mountain, Colorado photo by Anne Palmer

At the end of the day, when the sun and I start to tire, I sit on my front porch with a glass of iced tea. I think about what I have accomplished and what will need to be the next day. Our front yard has two large live oak trees that shield the bright light and heat of the sun from the porch and home. As the sun sinks to the horizon, the horses and cows in the pasture become silhouettes framed in golden light. Shortly, the sun and I say good night until a new day.

I do not use a watch or clock to mark the time of day. On the farm work is done when the sun shines. Idle time is marked with the phrase, ” you are burning daylight”. My days are guided by the sunrise and the sunset, the Creator’s time clock.

amtolle

Recording My Life

Bloganuary Daily Prompt #30: What would you title the chapters of your autobiography?

I have started an autobiography. The first chapter of the story is fiction since I was not present and would not have any memories of the actual time period. The first chapter involves history and social pressures of the time. The title of this first chapter – “The Beginning”.

Second Chapter would be titled “A Baby and A Child”. This chapter would be about adoption in the time I was adopted. Most of the information would be from research and family stories of when I entered the family.

Somewhere there would be a chapter titled “Free Me from the Cocoon of Lies”. There would also be chapters on the joys of motherhood and being a grandparent. The last chapter would be something like “Living Life as an Antique”, since anything over 50 years old is considered antique.

I would write about the struggles but focus on the triumph. Everyone faces challenges through out their life. What defines their life is not the struggles but the triumphs, the joys, the simple fact they lived.

Each of person has a story. Each person has a unique book of their life.

amtolle

Learning Everyday

Bloganuary daily prompt #29 : What is something you learned recently?

Everyday is a new day. A new day that I get to explore, have fun and learn something. There are various places to learn something. I love to read. I enjoy talking and sharing information with others. In addition, I have started working outside the home, which has entailed some learning of new skills and refreshers on old skills.

This week while reading the blogs of others I learned South Africa has 11 official languages. WOW. I also learned the name of a cake I enjoy, Frasier, and it originates in France. By reading blogs, I have learned that I am not alone in some of life’s struggles. There are others who have traveled through similar trials and face similar challenges. I am not alone.

Applying and accepting employment has been a very big step of self-growth for me. I am a high functioning Asperger’s syndrome person, in short a form of Autism. I struggle with understanding facial expressions of people. I am awkward with social interactions. I am friendly and I do interact well, but all of my social behavior is cognitively taught. My other struggle is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with anxiety and a panic response to conflict or possible conflict. These two conditions have made working with co-workers a struggle and I have not in the past had employment very long. As I will panic and leave work. I want to overcome this panic and leave response. If and when I leave the place I am working, I want it to be a decision not a response.

Today, I did something very difficult, I spoke to my manager about an incident a week past. Four co-workers and myself were stocking the shelves in one aisle of the store. Another, male co-worker approached unknown, and placed a hand on my shoulder. I almost hit him. He scared me by touching me when I did not know he was there. I do not trust people and I especially do not trust men. I was raped at age 20, grabbed from behind and raped. I did have a small panic attack, but was able to go to a room alone and calm myself. I have been debating on how to deal with this incident.

Many thoughts go through my mind. Was he innocent in touching my shoulder to get by? or is there something underneath that could be danger? I do not know the intentions of this person. He is always around when I am working, visiting the meat room when I am the only one working in that area. I speak to every person, as a sign of acknowledgement that they are there and I see them. Does this person interpret my greeting as something else?

During conversations with another employee whom I have become friends with, I learned I am not the only female working at this business who has been raped. Her response would be the same as what I felt like doing. Once again I am not alone.

How all of this will evolve I am not sure. I have let the supervisors know what happened. I am not giving up on having this place of employment. I want to make the decision to leave, not my panic decide for me.

amtolle

Birthday Cakes

Bloganuary Daily Prompt #28: Describe your perfect birthday cake?

Variety is the spice of life.

I love to bake and cook exploring different spices, flavors, and preparation of foods. I enjoy trying different recipes from different countries and cultures. Some agree with my palate others do not, but there is fun and excitement in cooking with new spices and ingredients.

Today’s writing prompt of choosing the perfect birthday cake is quite a challenge for a person who enjoys the multiple flavors of foods. A German chocolate cake with the rich chocolate, covered with caramel and coconut frosting, a rich sugar experience. Or perhaps something simpler as an angel food cake with strawberry syrup and a touch of whipped cream. Tangy zest of a lemon cake with lemon frosting to awaken the taste buds to pure delight. The plain but never rejected yellow cake with whipped cream frosting to meet everyone’s delight.

Not everyone enjoys cake for their birthdays. My husband is gleeful with a warm rich pecan pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream added when served. My son love pumpkin pie with a touch of whipped topping to make his birthday complete.

For me, I like the fail safe cheese cake with a fine graham cracker crust topped with blackberries in syrup. That is my one constant dessert that I enjoy. There is no disappointment with any choice of cake or pie for my birthday.

The most important aspect of the birthday cake is not the flavor but the thought of celebrating another year of life. The companionship of family and friends who joyfully celebrate the fact you were born and share life with them. These are the true flavors of a birthday.

amtolle

Procrastination: Pros vs Cons

Bloganuary Daily Prompt #27 : What are the pros and cons of procrastination?

Procrastination putting off today, what should have been done yesterday, hoping to get it done tomorrow.

I think every person has some procrastination. There are tasks we need to do that we do not like to do. I do not like laundry. Yet, I have to wear clothing, and my clothing gets dirty. I am not super wealthy so I can not buy clothing to replace dirty clothing. I have to do laundry in order to have clothes to wear. But I will postpone doing laundry, or do just enough laundry to have clothes to wear for a few days.

I have thought about if there are any pros to procrastination. I can not think of one thing procrastinating doing that would be a benefit. Cons, there is one simple item against procrastination. Procrastination is a time thief.

Time is always on the move, and only moves forward. Until a time machine is created, time will only move forward. Once that space of time has moved, it can never be recovered. Procrastinating steals our time to get a tasks done. It steals the time we could use to create memories and joy with those we love. In short procrastination steals our life. We put our life on pause, missing the opportunities to experience something that would only happen in that specific time space.

Procrastination is a thief of life and life experiences. There is nothing positive that comes from procrastinating.

amtolle

Languages

I was raised and lived the majority of my life in a very culturally diverse area. I lived where four states join at their corners in one spot, call The Four Corners. In this area are four Native American tribal reservations, a strong Hispanic and Spaniard populations and Caucasian Americans. Mennonites and Quakers of German heritage also lived in this area.

Languages spoken in the area were American English, Spanish, Navajo, Ute, Apache and German. Each group of people brought their own culture and customs. Hispanic and Spaniard are not the same, and each is offended by being called the other, although they both speak Spanish and have very similar culture, their heritage is very different. Hispanics trace their family lineage to Mexico. Spaniard trace the family lineage to Spanish explorers all the way back to Spain. Most Spaniards still own the land titled by Spanish Land Grants, given to them by the King and Queen of Spain. Spanish is a common language as the older Navajo, Ute and Apache elders could speak Spanish in order to trade with the Mexicans when the southern parts of Colorado, Utah and all of New Mexico, and Arizona were part of Mexico, along with California and Texas.

I was raised to speak American English. In school I learned Spanish and spoke Spanish with my dad. I became fluent in Spanish. I also learned Navajo from my school friends, but did not learn much until later in life. I started training horses and doing horsemanship clinics as well as working at a restaurant, during this time I learned Navajo, although I was not fluent in speaking. When my children were in school, they were taught basic words and numbers in Navajo and Ute. I learned to speak Ute with my children. When I started working for the school district assisting with special needs students, I learned Sign Language.

At home, my children and I would speak Spanish, Navajo, Ute and Sign Language as well as American English. In taking college courses to become a teacher, I learned that if children are exposed to a different language before they were eight or nine, they would be able to learn other languages easily. My children have learned other languages since becoming adults. One speaks Japanese, another Korean.

I have learned that by speaking different languages, I can get the jest of a conversation even though I do not know it. As some words are similar due to the languages being in the same language tree. Such as Italian and Portuguese is in the same language tree as Spanish, words are similar enough to be able to comprehend what the person is saying.

When I was in high school I wanted to learn Spanish, French and German so I could travel the world and be able to speak to others. I did not learn French. I only learned a few words of German. Since being away from my home ground and not using Spanish, I am no longer fluent. Languages and the culture that goes with them are interesting and unique.

My most recent exposure to a foreign language is Afrikaans. The person I learned how to train herding dogs, Afrikaans is their native language. It is also the native language of the South African judges and inspectors for Dorper Sheep. If I had the time to be able to learn this language I would. I would know what the dog trainer is saying to their dogs during herding dog trials, enabling me to be a better dog handler. I would also be able to communicate with the judges and inspectors at the Dorper sheep shows and when the time comes for them to inspect the sheep at my farm. American English, I consider to be shallow as words have multiple meanings. Other languages have more precise meanings for individual words, creating more precise communication.

I do not believe you are ever too old to learn a new language. The first new language is always the most difficult to learn. But once the brain has started thinking in more than one language, learning additional languages becomes much easier.

amtolle

Working My Job

At the first part of January I became employed outside of the farm. It was a necessity since my husband was dismissed from his job in November just before Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving, we both were busy looking for work.

I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, with anxiety being a major symptom and depression. I am afraid of people, and especially of doing the wrong action or saying a wrong word around people. I struggle with social skills due to my mind being wired a little differently, Asperger’s syndrome. So I have a few things going against me in working outside of the farm.

I was careful where I sent my resume, and I prayed a lot about the right place to work. I was hired by the little grocery store in the small town where I live. The automoshere in the store has always been friendly, and I was comfortable with the employees before I went to work there.

Now that I am working there, I am enjoying. I still have a challenge every once in awhile, but thankfully I have been able to handle and work through those challenges. The challenges are understanding and dealing with others. Part of the challenge is identifying when they are having an off day, and not to take it as a personal response.

I do not work in one area. I am all over the place. I do however work two days in the meat department as a meat wrapper. I love this part of the job. Each day I work in the meat department is a little different. I have been learning to wrap meat, grind different meats, season meats, and cleaning. The meat department supervisor and I think a lot alike, and we get along really well. When I work in the meat department, the first part is getting my orders on what to prepare, package and put out on the shelf. After that I am on my own. Today, was a special day. I filled a customer’s request. I also learned I am going to start cutting meat.

There are two days of the week I work on stocking the freezer section when the delivery truck arrives. This is a busy, time pushed day. It is work as fast as you can to get the frozen merchandise out of boxes and on the correct space, as well as rotating the items. We rotate the items that will expire first to the front, and those items that expire later to the back. As I am stocking the food items in the frozen, I am also checking expiration dates. When I am done with the frozen department, I move to the grocery department and start stocking the shelves with the merchandise, until all is done. There are several other employees who start with stocking merchandise in the grocery department. So when I am done, I am assisting them.

Then I work one day, that I never know what I am doing until I show up for work. I might be stocking that day, usually I start with the freezer then move to dairy. Or I might be a cashier all day. It changes.

I like the changing duties as I am not bored. If I were cashier for five days a week, I would quickly become bored with my job and task. With the variety I keep an interest in my job. My ability to change positions and department where I am needed is a big help to the manager. There are some employees who do not want to work in the cold parts of the store. Meat department is always cold at 40 degrees Fahrenheit at all times. Freezer department is even colder.

I know I am where I am supposed to be.

amtolle