amtolle

THANK YOU

I want to take this time to THANK EACH OF YOU for taking the time to read, comment, like and or follow my blog.

Last January I started this blog as part of Bloganuary 2022, a challenge to write a blog about a daily prompt everyday the month of January.

Through blogging I have met some wonderful people. I have read some great blogs. Others blogs have peaked my interest in different things, expanded my mind and thought. I have seen some awesome photography, and other places in the world.

I am still learning how to do blogging. I have discovered I enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts, interests and activities.

I am writing two books. And hopefully will have them published by the end of 2023.

Once more, I want to THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME FROM YOUR DAY TO READ MY BLOGS.

amtolle

Spot Update

All babies grow up. Spot is no different. The cute little baby goat I purchased right after Thanksgiving is growing. He should grow being fed a bottle every six hours. He slept in a large dog crate with pine shaving that were changed daily. When he was not in his crate bed, he roamed the house or played outside. When the weather was warm, we placed him in his own fenced playground away from danger to play and enjoy the fresh air.

Two weeks back, Spot became too big for his large dog crate. We had to move him to his private suite in the barn. We made a warm bed under a heat lamp, he had hay and fresh water provided if he chose to eat or drink. His neighbors are my other two goats. I would go out every six hours to feed him the bottle. I or my husband let him out of his stall in the barn to roam with us when we do chores or just work around the place. He loves to follow us everywhere. And there are times he is allowed in the house for short times.

This week, Spot has been seen eating his hay. He has made the choice to not drink all his milk from the bottle, walking away because he is full. His bottle feedings have been moved to four times a day. We still let Spot out to run and romp during the chores and other times of the day. He is still allowed the occasional visit in the house.

My “dog” Spot in the house.

In another month, Spot will not be given a bottle as he will be old enough to wean from a bottle. He will be allowed to romp and play outside his stall. We might move him in with the other two goats, depends on how big he is in a month’s time.

Why do I have goats? For the grandkids to play with. The other two goats are nannies, Precious and Baby, and very friendly. Follow us anywhere and try to help us with our projects. Spot is a billy. So maybe next fall we might have newborn baby goats born.

amtolle

Life is Life. We can not make others change.

I have my cards and letters done. Then my husband wanted to write some special letters to his son and daughter this Christmas. It has been two years since he has heard from his son. His daughter arrived with a chip off her shoulder and left Thanksgiving visit in a huff after a lot of drama.

We have been very happily married for fourteen years. Yet, neither of us has come up with an answer as to why his children refuse to accept me and treat me with respect. His children have even told his grandchildren, I am not their grandma and to not call me grandma. As well as, the grandchildren do not have to do anything I ask of them, even in my own home.

It is not like we have not helped them since we have been married. We have given his son money on numerous times. When his son started one of our horses, because he needed money, we paid full price for half the job he does for others. When his son’s first child was born, we paid for the diapers and wipes for two years. For his daughter, she was leaving her second husband and wanted to move to Texas. I went to Colorado, loaded the trailer and truck and brought her down. We even purchased a house for her to live in that needed some minor repairs. Three days later she left, went back to Colorado and six months later went back to the husband. We provided a large horse trailer for his son and family to move to Wyoming, and pulled another trailer up as well. I have cared for his son’s dogs when they were whelping, sold puppies for him. Yet, why do they treat me and their dad badly?

There is no grounds to say we do things for my children and leave his children out. Quite the opposite. We have helped his children more.

It is not because I caused the divorce. Their parents were divorced for five years before I came on the scene. Their mother divorced their father to marry another man.

I had thought it is because of the “step mom” thing. Yet, they have a step grandma, as my husband’s parents divorced and remarried, whom his son and daughter both call grandma. His daughter has two children by one ex husband, and two more by another ex-husband, yet all four of her children call the parents to the second husband grandma and grandpa.

Needless to say, the situation causes some tension during their short visits, and sadness in our family.

So, today, my husband made a decision. His decision was to compose two letters, one to each of his children. Statements written that I had prayed and tried so hard to not be a thought. A decision my husband made. His words on paper. Words stating that he loves them. Words informing them of what they have done is wrong. Stating things will have to change, or if by their choice things do not change, they are not to come back for a visit. He has made the choice to take these two letters to the post office himself to post.

My husband very seldom makes any kind of rules at our home, mostly we do not need rules. But once a rule is made, that rule is set in stone. Today my husband made a rule.

amtolle

Cards and Letters

Remember getting glitter decorated Christmas cards in the mail? Or perhaps you are one of those “old fashion” type person who still enjoys sending a Merry Christmas message to family and friends. For over a century people have sent the once a year letter and Christmas message to friends and family, especially if they lived beyond visiting distance.

The first Christmas card was created by Henry Cole and J.C. Horsley in 1943 according to the Smithsonian Magazine. I first learned of the first Christmas card while watching a show, “Victorian England” on Netflix. One episode went into the history of the Christmas card, or what we would term a postcard. The first Christmas card was created to ease the work of writing a letter in response to letters written to Henry Cole. It was considered very rude of a person to not respond to a letter they had received. Henry Cole being very busy, yet not wanting to be rude was struggling with writing letters. Henry Cole developed an idea of a picture on stiff cardboard to send in place of a handwritten letters. J.C. Horsley created the picture, they had it printed and the first Christmas card was invented.

I was raised with the tradition of sending a card before Christmas to every family member and friend wishing them Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I have kept this tradition and my children have followed with keeping the tradition as well.

Today, we could just send an email for a newsletter, or a text message saying Merry Christmas. But there is something special when a person receives a card, with a handwritten message inside. The card shows time and thought was taken to send a simple gift of a card. Receiving the card makes the person feel special and not alone. We can read a message in a text. We can read, touch and smell the message in a card.

Each year, I send Christmas cards with a letter telling of the year’s events to family and friends. I used to write a short summary of the year in each card. About ten years ago I stopped writing the summary inside the card as I was getting writer’s cramp. I opted for a computer generated, decorative letter to place inside each card I send. I still hand sign all the cards. Thirty years ago I would send out fifty to sixty cards a year ( now you can understand the writer’s cramp), taking me a week to complete the task. Today, I finished addressing, signing and getting ready to mail thirty cards. Years have taken names and address out of the Christmas card list.

This year I had big ambitions of creating Victorian style Christmas cards to send instead of purchasing cards. I was able to create ten cards for family and friends. I punched holes in lines to form an outline of the object being created. During Victorian times, this was an inexpensive method used by the lower classes to send Christmas cards.

The instrument I used to punch the many holes per card is a tool used in quilling paper. One end is needle like, allowing me to punch holes through the paper. The other end is used to make shapes using stripes of paper called quilling. It is a long process of punching holes to create a card.

With time running short, I did purchase some Christmas cards to send to family and friends. I wanted them to receive a card, even if it was not handmade. Next year I will get the handmade cards done, hopefully to be mailed.

amtolle

Christmas Beauty

I enjoy plants and Christmas is heralded with the arrival of Poinsettias. The United States celebrate Poinsettia Day on December 12. A very popular Christmas plant with approximately 70 million plants sold in the United States each year. The poinsettia is native to Mexico and Central American growing wild and reaching heights of ten feet according to Britannica.

I used to buy a poinsettia each year. My favorite poinsettia variety is the original, crimson variety. Enjoy the beauty of their crimson bracts or “leaves” and yellow blooms. Each year shortly after Christmas, the plant would die. I tried for several years to keep the plant alive with hopes of the plant blooming once more showing its beauty at Christmas. I read books and talked with workers in green houses. I just could not keep a poinsettia alive long enough to bloom once more. I finally gave up, my “green thumb” would not work with poinsettias.

Last year at a dinner I had for family and friends to celebrate Christmas and the beginning of a new year, a friend gave me a beautiful poinsettia. I enjoyed the crimson color for a month, then the plant shed the colorful leaves. Why or how the plant survived, I am not certain. Each time I watered or would look at the plant I would think of my friend and our friendship.

Then before Thanksgiving, crimson leaves began to appear. The poinsettia given last year is blooming. While I have decided to keep my Christmas decorating to a minimum I will have the beauty of a blooming poinsettia in my home.

After the poinsettia has finished blooming, I will repot. The plant is still in last year’s pot. I amy prune a few branches back, keep it in the shady shelter place it has lived all year and continue to water as I have done this past year. Perhaps my “green thumb” has learned how to keep a poinsettia alive.

The appearance of poinsettias mark the beginning of the Christmas season regardless of where you live.

amtolle

Gradually Getting There

Christmas celebration, my favorite time of year and I think the perfect holiday to end a year, celebrating the birth of Christ. I deck my house with Christmas decorations mostly old, with a touch of new each year. Ceiling to floor, and each room has a touch of Christmas decoration to focus on the reason for the celebration. Holiday cookies, breads, and desserts are made from old recipes used each year that have been passed down. The baking gives the home a sweet, pleasant smell that makes taste buds tingle with anticipation of a treat. I truly enjoy the decorating, cooking and baking. Although the weight scale is hidden during this month, and number 1 New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight…lol.

Due to changes in my life, I have been busy looking for employment. I have spent a lot of hours on the computer filling in applications and uploading resumes. A challenge to gaining employment is I have been self-employed for almost eight years. Raising sheep and developing a solid flock of registered Dorper sheep has been my focus and employment. This weekend, I decided I needed a break from looking for work. I changed approached in looking for work to a full-time job, instead of a consuming obsession. Any full-time job gives the employee a day or two off. This weekend I took off from looking for employment to refocus on my home and Christmas celebration.

I had been focused so much on gaining employment to have a source of income other than the sheep, that my home and the celebration of Christmas was almost lost.

Fourteen days to Christmas, and I have not taken down the Thanksgiving decorations. There are no Christmas cookies or candies made, and recipes shared. Other years the home would be filled with the scents and pleasures of my Christmas cooking. Christmas cards and end of the year letters are not ready to be mailed. Usually this task is completed before the first Sunday in December. I have gifts completed and mailed to my sons and daughter before December 10, allowing time for the gifts to arrive well before Christmas. This year, gifts might be late in arriving.

Fourteen days to Christmas, I still have time to do the important things. First, I relaxed and stopped stressing about the employment situation. I have done some shopping, everyone seems stressed and in a hurry, not really enjoying the moment of looking for the right gift. It is hurry go here or there, put this in the cart, and rush to the next aisle for another gift to purchase. There are no smiles or happy faces, only line weary stressed expressions without joy or hope.

I was letting the lack of employment in our household take the focus away from the celebration, the joy and hope this celebration represents. One night looking at my un-Christmas home, I realized I was missing out on the most exciting part of the year for me. I was letting Christmas slip away.

It is amazing that we have the ability to stop, change gears and refocus our attention. I have fourteen days to celebrate Christmas with decorating, cooking, gifts and all the rest. I am not going to stress about getting everything done as they were done in years past. This is Christmas 2022, the only Christmas 2022, and it is only fitting that this year’s celebration should be unique.

amtolle

Last Sheep Auction in 2022

Twice a month the local sheep and goat auction holds a sale. There is a variety of sheep and goats, young and old, brought into the sale pen and sold to the highest bidder. It is at this auction, two weeks ago, I purchased my new “dog” Spot, a bottle baby goat.

I enjoy attending this sheep and goat auction. I have friends at this auction, that the only time we see and talk with each other is at the auction. Some of these friends have helped me in learning how to make money raising sheep. We talk about family, projects, our animals and our breeding plans among other things.

Today, I brought my new “dog” Spot to the auction. Spot wore a dog harness and was kept on a leash. Now, regardless of where you are, upon seeing a baby goat walking along with a person holding the leash, you would notice. Even at the auction, Spot was noticed.

The main reason I brought Spot today, is he is a bottle baby who is young and only eats from a bottle. While I was at the auction, he would need to be fed. The only way to feed him was to bring him to the auction with me.

Those who work at the auction and those who attend regularly know that my animals are not treated like other sheep and goats. A few were present when a couple of years back I brought a ram to the sale. Unloaded him from the trailer into a pen. Then went into the pen, and without any restraint, proceeded to pick up each foot and trimmed it, so he would look his best at the sale the following day. Most people cannot even get close to their animals, much less pick up a foot with nothing restraining the animal. And the ram, went for top dollar at the sale the next day. Although the auctioneer was called a liar by two people present when he told them of me trimming the feet the evening before. Thank goodness for witnesses who stood up to verify his words as the truth. And my reputation was made as the person who works with her animals and does not always treat them like a sheep or goat.

So today, bringing a baby goat to the auction as if it were a dog was strange but not a big surprise considering I was holding the leash. Now for those who do not know me that attended today’s auction, it was a surprise and opened the opportunity to meet new people. Children were especially drawn to the baby goat. The children would walk up with their parents, and ask if they could pet the goat. I would reply, “Yes, you can pet Spot. He loves to be petted”. Children get bored fast at an auction. They do not understand the auctioneer, and it is hard to watch animals go through a sale ring and not be able to touch them. Spot enjoyed the constant attention and petting by little hands. The children and parents enjoyed the distraction.

Spot loves attention. Spot loves to sit in my lap and be petted. Today at the auction he received plenty of petting and sat in my lap most of the day.

Today, was the last opportunity to catch up with friends, learn what they were doing for Christmas celebration and to wish them a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

I attend the sheep and goat auction regularly to keep up with the trend in the market lamb and breeding sheep prices. But today was more than just watching the market trends. It is getting close to Christmas, and I needed some money. I selected three ewes to sell at the auction today. These are not cull ewes, but ewes that would or were producing market lambs. These ewes had traits that I do not want to carry forward in my breeding program and were scheduled to be sold in the future. Because of the reputation I have built concerning my sheep, my ewes sold for $50.00 to $100.00 USD above the price of other ewes in the same condition. When my ewes entered the sale pen and were offered for bid, the bidding was fast and furious at the beginning. I was very pleased with the price my ewes brought today.

Finally, after a long day of sitting, talking with friends and holding Spot, I was ready to go home. I picked up my check, thanked those working the auction and wished everyone a Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year.

amtolle

It Takes Work to be Positive

Walking the pathway of life we have good times and not so good times. We face stress from work, the economy, home and from other areas, some we are not aware of. There are times the place we are at in life just wears us down, the walk is hard, the struggle is hard and long. We are weary. How do we stay positive and focused on moving forward?

It is not easy to stay positive. Sometimes it is just work to keep from crawling in a dark corner to just disappear from everything. The situations we crawled away from will still be there when we come out of the corner. We will have to deal with the situation and find the solution. From experience, I have learned dealing with the situation sooner rather than later is alway best.

How do we keep moving forward looking for the solution without being overcome with depression and weariness? I pray to the Creator. The One who created me, knows my every need and will take care of me. I pray for guidance to make the right choice, look in the right direction and turn away from what is wrong for my life.

There are times I have clung to the fray of His garment, in order to get the strength to keep going, hoping and believing I will see the miracle presented to me for me.

Prayer in the quiet of the morning, before the day gets busy with chores and activities that need to be done. Most times the sun is not up when I sit, quiet, praying to the Creator.

Second, I remember those miracles that I have experienced. I look back to seen when I was in great need and the Creator provided those needs for me. Those times I found the open door or window to go through and find the solution to the situation. I remember the quiet times, when a whisper was given with an idea of where to go or where to look for those open doors or windows. I remember all the times when things were tough, and the miracle came, I was taken care of. I remember that I have never been without food, or clothing or some type of roof over my head. I remember the blessings and I give thanks.

Third, I give thanks for the answer that is coming. I know the Creator hears my prayers, sees my tears, knows my fears. The Creator knows all that I need, and the solution, the answer is being given before I prayed. I thank the Creator for the day I am alive, for being there for me, for creating me.

I pray that my mind will stay focused on the Creator, on the chores of the day, and not to think of tomorrow.

When things get really tough, when I want to crawl away and cry, I remind myself – God is in control.

amtolle

Mountaintops and Valleys

When I lived in Colorado, I would visit the mountains often. Surrounded by their majesty and beauty, it was always a treat to take a weekend and go up to the mountain for an up-close personal visit. Each mountain is unique and has its own challenges to scale in order to reach the top. The mountains I would visit I could get almost to the top by horseback. When I had reached as far as I could safely on the horse, I would hike to the top. Not every mountain can be hiked to the top. There are mountain tops that can be reached only with the aid of ropes. I chose the mountain tops I could reach without the aid of ropes.

I start my way upward from the valley on horseback. Every step moving us closer to the top. We travel under the trees in the shadow of the mountain. As the horse and I get closer to the mountaintop, the trees start to spread apart, fewer and smaller. Then ground turns to loose stones and rock. He I must leave the horses and go alone. The climbing is slow as one foot has to be securely in place before you move the other foot upward. No trees grow at the top, very few flowers or other small plants are seen. There is the constant very chilly wind, an occasional marmot, a soaring eagle and the mountain to watch your progress upward.

Once at the top, the smell of the fresh thin air is refreshing and exhilarating. The view, words can not speak and photos can not show the grandeur or breathtaking beauty the eye beholds from a mountaintop. Your body aches, your heart beats loudly from the struggle of the climb and lack of oxygen at those heights.

Your mind just stops, the senses taking in the views. At the top you feel you can see the whole world, each house looks like a small pebble, people can not be seen without aide. The mind relaxes, there is a feeling of no problems, no work. Nothing exists but you and the mountain and what the senses behold.

But a person can not stay on the mountaintop long. The night temperatures drop drastically. A person has to pack supplies and equipment needed as there are no resources for shelter, food or water at the top. Down the mountain the person has to come. The trip down those rocky, slippery slopes is more dangerous. It is harder to keep on solid foot while moving down to get a the second foot hold. Once I am back down to the horses, I am glad they will carry my tired body back to camp.

As we move down towards the valley and camp, the trees start to appear. The first trees are scraggly and thin, due to surviving in the colder and harsher climate than those a few hundred feet farther down. Soon there is grass, flowers and meadows busy with the sounds and movements of insects, birds, elk, deer and other wildlife. Our senses are busy with all the activity that surrounds us. Our vision blocked by huge pine trees. We are moving in the shadow of the mountaintop, every going downward farther and farther from the top of the world.

Soon, I am back at the campground. There are people around taking and going on with what they are doing. The noise of warm campfires, the smell of cooking. I care for the horses, giving extra feed and a good brush. Their muscles are as tired as mine.

We are back in the valley, the thoughts of the day linger as the thoughts of getting back to work and family start to take over. Tonight I will sleep soundly, too tired to care about the everyday commitments I will return to in the morning.

Like taking a weekend and reaching a mountaintop, I have reached several different mountain tops during my life. Each mountain top required the some effort and struggle to reach. I have always been glad to reach the top. But once there in order to move forward in life, we must come down that mountain in order to reach the next mountain. Life does not stand still, and neither can we.

Currently, I am looking for the next mountain to climb. The mountain I was on has changed. I am not sure where I am going, or where I will be. But I do know there is a mountain for me to climb, and when I reach the top, the experience and memories will be beyond words and beautiful.

amtolle

Attitude Determines Altitude

There are times people say a few words forming a phrase and the phrase stays with you for a lifetime. The first time I heard “Attitude determines Altitude” was in my senior in high school from my English teacher. At the time I thought it referred to how well I would do in their classroom and my grade. Several years after graduation I realized the phrase, “Attitude determines Altitude” referred to how we handle the challenges life brings our way. I taught this phrase to my children. It was not until my oldest son’s senior year I really saw the strength of these three words in someone’s life.

I was working fast food, along with my oldest son. One of the young men working there was a classmate of my son. Although their only interaction was at work. After Christmas break, this young man’s mood changed, he became depressed and saw himself as a loser, and was talking about just dropping out of school. I being his shift manager, said why drop out you are almost done. I learned that he was failing math, a class required to graduate. Unless he passed math, he would not graduate and did not see a solution to his challenge.

People are stereotyped and being stereotyped is more prevalent in small towns. He stated that no one at the school would help him understand math. I told him I would help. He questioned me, why would you help me, you do not know about me and my family. He was referring to the incident involving his older brother, who did not graduate, and because of this the older brother’s girlfriend broke up with him. The older brother followed her to college, held her hostage in her dorm room, shot her in the foot, then committed suicide by cop on live television. The community turned their back on this family. I told him he was not his older brother, he was his own person and did not have to travel the same path. I would tutor him on his meal breaks at work, he agreed.

The first tutoring lesson he was very frustrated, he did not understand what to do in order to solve the equations. I stated to him “attitude determines altitude” and to look at the equation not as a problem but as a challenge. We worked almost everyday during his meal break on math. After a week of completed assignments with mostly correct answers, his math teacher asked to talk to him after class. The math teacher wanted to know why he was doing better. His reply, I have a tutor who is helping me. As we worked together, his attitude changed, he started seeing how attitude affects altitude in math and life. There were no more problems in life only challenges.

Time came for finals. Words do not describe this young man’s excitement the day he learned what his score was on the math final. He brought me the paper showing the grade “B+” and the results that he had passed the class. He was going to graduate.

Graduation night came, I went to the ceremony to see my son receive his high school diploma. I saw this young man, stand tall and proud as he walked up to receive his diploma. After the ceremony during a time friends and family gather around the graduate to congratulate them and take pictures. I was picked up off my feet and swung in a circle several times, not knowing who had grabbed me up. When my feet were allowed back on the ground, I turned and saw this extremely excited young man. He gave me a big huge, thanking me as if it were not for me he would not be there. Then he insisted I meet his parents, taking my hands and literally dragging me there due to the pace of his walk. He stopped in front of his parents, “Here she is, the one who believed and helped me get here.” His parents with tears in their eyes, thanked me. His father told me that this son was the first in the family to graduate. He had older brothers and sisters and cousins who did not graduate from high school. Now the younger ones could see and believe it was possible to graduate.

A few years later, I was visiting and ordering food in the fast food restaurant where we worked. He came in and saw me. We had a happy reunion. He was once more excited with self control to tell me how he was doing. He had left the area to work in the job corp, and decided to go to college to become a parajumper, jumping out of airplanes into the forests to fight wildfires. I also learned that all his younger siblings had graduated from high school. He attributes his success to me believing in him. I told him they did the work, it is their success.

Before this event in my life with the young man and many times after, I have faced the challenges in life. Each time I am faced with a change or challenge the three words “Attitude determines Altitude” surfaces in my mind and memories. Our perception of a challenge in life and our attitude about the challenge will determine how high we fly over the challenge.

amtolle