Life is Life. We can not make others change.

I have my cards and letters done. Then my husband wanted to write some special letters to his son and daughter this Christmas. It has been two years since he has heard from his son. His daughter arrived with a chip off her shoulder and left Thanksgiving visit in a huff after a lot of drama.

We have been very happily married for fourteen years. Yet, neither of us has come up with an answer as to why his children refuse to accept me and treat me with respect. His children have even told his grandchildren, I am not their grandma and to not call me grandma. As well as, the grandchildren do not have to do anything I ask of them, even in my own home.

It is not like we have not helped them since we have been married. We have given his son money on numerous times. When his son started one of our horses, because he needed money, we paid full price for half the job he does for others. When his son’s first child was born, we paid for the diapers and wipes for two years. For his daughter, she was leaving her second husband and wanted to move to Texas. I went to Colorado, loaded the trailer and truck and brought her down. We even purchased a house for her to live in that needed some minor repairs. Three days later she left, went back to Colorado and six months later went back to the husband. We provided a large horse trailer for his son and family to move to Wyoming, and pulled another trailer up as well. I have cared for his son’s dogs when they were whelping, sold puppies for him. Yet, why do they treat me and their dad badly?

There is no grounds to say we do things for my children and leave his children out. Quite the opposite. We have helped his children more.

It is not because I caused the divorce. Their parents were divorced for five years before I came on the scene. Their mother divorced their father to marry another man.

I had thought it is because of the “step mom” thing. Yet, they have a step grandma, as my husband’s parents divorced and remarried, whom his son and daughter both call grandma. His daughter has two children by one ex husband, and two more by another ex-husband, yet all four of her children call the parents to the second husband grandma and grandpa.

Needless to say, the situation causes some tension during their short visits, and sadness in our family.

So, today, my husband made a decision. His decision was to compose two letters, one to each of his children. Statements written that I had prayed and tried so hard to not be a thought. A decision my husband made. His words on paper. Words stating that he loves them. Words informing them of what they have done is wrong. Stating things will have to change, or if by their choice things do not change, they are not to come back for a visit. He has made the choice to take these two letters to the post office himself to post.

My husband very seldom makes any kind of rules at our home, mostly we do not need rules. But once a rule is made, that rule is set in stone. Today my husband made a rule.

amtolle

7 thoughts on “Life is Life. We can not make others change.”

    1. Thank you. They are 40 years old. I hope things will settle. Either way, we want peace in our home. My children, their spouses, grandchildren and my own step grandchildren accept my husband as Grandpa or PawPaw.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. It is true ..you can change no one. That being said, it is wonderful to see you and your husband guarding the peace and sanctity of your home and union. Too many times, we forget the importance of boundaries – for our own sanity. I pray that reconciliation will be the end result for all.May God Grant you both strength, wisdom and peaceof as you navigate this.πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

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