My children have become good people. They have good jobs, excellent work ethic, not been in jail. Each child moved out of the house when they graduated from high school. People have asked me how I managed to get my children to leave home, keep a job and pay their own bills. My answer for many years was “I do not know, I guess a lot of prayer.”
I prayed daily for my children, and still do. I also pray for my grandchildren.
My mother did not want to adopt me, and did not accept me until her very late years. I remember as a child, my mother did not say words of acceptance to me. I felt I was not accepted and therefore not loved. And truth is when I was a child I was not I was determined I would not be the type of mother my adopted mother was to me. I would encourage and let my children know they were accepted, loved and I was there to help them be the person they were to be.
Watching my children raise their children I seen a pattern of speaking to the children. I am reminded of phrases I used with my own children, being spoken by my children now adults to their children.
Simple words, words spoken of encouragement and acceptance.
A few of the phrases are:
I like that.
Keep going, almost there.
You got it.
I like that _____.
You are getting better at that everyday.
Thank you for helping.
There are words for when they are too small to help or do what I am doing:
Thank you for wanting to help, but at this time you are too small or it is too dangerous for you to help, but you can watch and learn.
Our words affect how a person sees and understands themselves. Children are not the only ones who need encouraging words, adults also need encouragement.