My children have become good people. They have good jobs, excellent work ethic, not been in jail. Each child moved out of the house when they graduated from high school. People have asked me how I managed to get my children to leave home, keep a job and pay their own bills. My answer for many years was “I do not know, I guess a lot of prayer.”
I prayed daily for my children, and still do. I also pray for my grandchildren.
My mother did not want to adopt me, and did not accept me until her very late years. I remember as a child, my mother did not say words of acceptance to me. I felt I was not accepted and therefore not loved. And truth is when I was a child I was not I was determined I would not be the type of mother my adopted mother was to me. I would encourage and let my children know they were accepted, loved and I was there to help them be the person they were to be.
Watching my children raise their children I seen a pattern of speaking to the children. I am reminded of phrases I used with my own children, being spoken by my children now adults to their children.
Simple words, words spoken of encouragement and acceptance.
A few of the phrases are:
I like that.
Keep going, almost there.
You got it.
I like that _____.
You are getting better at that everyday.
Thank you for helping.
There are words for when they are too small to help or do what I am doing:
Thank you for wanting to help, but at this time you are too small or it is too dangerous for you to help, but you can watch and learn.
Our words affect how a person sees and understands themselves. Children are not the only ones who need encouraging words, adults also need encouragement.
“The world should be a better place because a person has lived” words the mother spoke to Little Lord Fauntleroy in the movie Little Lord Fauntleroy (the old version).
I some strong convictions on certain subjects, but I do not attend rallies or donate money to organizations. I feel most rallies are too black and white in their approach, you are either for or against. For example, this not for debate but example only, people who are vaccinated and the anti-vaccinators, where is the grey?
I do not consider myself on either side. I do feel any medical procedure, I should make the choice on what goes into my body and what does not.
I am not vaccinated. I get two responses when people learn I am not vaccinated.
“Oh, you are one of those anti-vaccinators who refuse to be vaccinated……”
“Good for you for standing up for your rights…”
The reason I am not vaccinated has nothing to do with either cause. There is a medical reason I am not vaccinated.
I feel most causes that are seen in the media are too black and white, with no room for the grey.
I am passionate and encourage people to educate themselves. The encouragement can be for higher education, learning a new hobby, learning a trade and to search out information not just take someone’s word for it.
At one time in my life I attended college to become a teacher. My desire was to teach mathematics and science. I feel these two subjects are presented in a format that causes students to hate them. While I was being a mother, attending college, I also had to work. I was working fast-food in the position of night manager. The crew I managed was almost entirely teenagers.
There was this one boy, in the same grade as my son and they were going to graduate that May provided they completed their classes with passing grades. Well, the boy I will call Peter, struggled with Math and was failing. Peter was very discouraged and was talking about dropping out. Peter is a senior, going to graduate in four months… what could cause him to drop out.. he was failing mathematics. I told him I would help, I would schedule our breaks together and tutor him in mathematics. So, we did. As he learned his attitude changed, his grade came up, and he was going to graduate.
I attended the graduation ceremony as my son was graduating. After the ceremony, I and my family were milling around on the football field with the other students and families, taking pictures, etc. When I was grabbed from behind and swung around and around. When this person put me down, I turned around to see who my “attacker” was, it was Peter. He we so excited, he pulled me towards his parents saying you have to meet them, you have to meet them.
I was dragged in front of two people who not giving any introduction, just gave me big hugs, thanking me profusely. I did not see or know the whole picture. When I agreed to help Peter learn mathematics to graduate, I thought I was helping one person. It turns out Peter was the first person to graduate from high school in his family… parents, older siblings, aunts, uncles and older cousins.
Peter went on with education becoming a paramedic then a smoke jumper. The last I heard from him, all four of his younger siblings graduated from high school and was taking additional education.
We do not realize what a smile, a word of encouragement or a kind gesture does for another person. We never see the whole picture of what the person is dealing with in a day. I make a point to show kindness, joy, encouragement and gratitude to people I meet and speak with. I want the world to be a better place, one kindness at a time.