This year we are having my husband’s daughter and her family down for Thanksgiving. Along with her and her family of four children, she is bringing down a boyfriend to meet her father.
They have been seeing each other for a least two years. Their relationship is getting serious. Her children like him, and his children like her, and the children like each other. A big positive for a relationship of blended families to work. Thanksgiving we are meeting the boyfriend.
A week ago, I was calling to confirm the dates they would be here to visit, and getting a commitment on staying at our house. My husband’s daughter, Ms. T, jokes just like her dad. I made some reply and heard him in the background with a reply and I said something back. Soon he was on speaker phone, and then he and I talked for two hours. He was mostly asking questions and learning about me and the farm.
It is common being nervous meeting the parents and vice versa, meeting in the boyfriend. At the beginning of the conversation with Ms. T, she was sharing about flying in an airplane to meet his family. She relayed we could fly to Colorado and visit them this summer. We were joking back and forth on why I do not fly anymore. I mentioned the reason being no place to escape during an anxiety attack when you are thousands of feet in the air, from the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He heard I had PTSD. He also has PTSD.
We had common ground. He began talking. He asked for me to share the event, I do not share the event. Then we discussed my triggers and his triggers, both of us wanting to avoid exposing the other to triggers during their visit. Then the conversation moved to horses, as he wants to learn how to be around and eventually get on a horse. From the horses the conversation evolved to nationalities, spiritualism and cooking. After two to three hours of conversation, he was excited to come for a visit. He was no longer nervous and wanting to be option of staying in a hotel. His last words of the conversation, “Yes, we will be staying at your house”.
I never thought a condition I suffer with daily, would be used to open the door for a relationship. This man is important to Ms. T and I am glad that with our conversation, he is more comfortable about coming down and meeting the father.
Now I am busy preparing the house for six people. Getting beds ready that have sit vacant for four months, dusting and clearing cobwebs out of the spare bedrooms, moving the extra boxes I have stored in one room to the storage building. Determining the menu and making sure there will be enough food and drinks for their visit.
I am even thinking of putting up the Christmas decorations early. As we will not have family here for Christmas, and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I am thinking of combining the Thanksgiving and Christmas in one celebration this year.