Tag: solutions

Life is Life. We can not make others change.

I have my cards and letters done. Then my husband wanted to write some special letters to his son and daughter this Christmas. It has been two years since he has heard from his son. His daughter arrived with a chip off her shoulder and left Thanksgiving visit in a huff after a lot of drama.

We have been very happily married for fourteen years. Yet, neither of us has come up with an answer as to why his children refuse to accept me and treat me with respect. His children have even told his grandchildren, I am not their grandma and to not call me grandma. As well as, the grandchildren do not have to do anything I ask of them, even in my own home.

It is not like we have not helped them since we have been married. We have given his son money on numerous times. When his son started one of our horses, because he needed money, we paid full price for half the job he does for others. When his son’s first child was born, we paid for the diapers and wipes for two years. For his daughter, she was leaving her second husband and wanted to move to Texas. I went to Colorado, loaded the trailer and truck and brought her down. We even purchased a house for her to live in that needed some minor repairs. Three days later she left, went back to Colorado and six months later went back to the husband. We provided a large horse trailer for his son and family to move to Wyoming, and pulled another trailer up as well. I have cared for his son’s dogs when they were whelping, sold puppies for him. Yet, why do they treat me and their dad badly?

There is no grounds to say we do things for my children and leave his children out. Quite the opposite. We have helped his children more.

It is not because I caused the divorce. Their parents were divorced for five years before I came on the scene. Their mother divorced their father to marry another man.

I had thought it is because of the “step mom” thing. Yet, they have a step grandma, as my husband’s parents divorced and remarried, whom his son and daughter both call grandma. His daughter has two children by one ex husband, and two more by another ex-husband, yet all four of her children call the parents to the second husband grandma and grandpa.

Needless to say, the situation causes some tension during their short visits, and sadness in our family.

So, today, my husband made a decision. His decision was to compose two letters, one to each of his children. Statements written that I had prayed and tried so hard to not be a thought. A decision my husband made. His words on paper. Words stating that he loves them. Words informing them of what they have done is wrong. Stating things will have to change, or if by their choice things do not change, they are not to come back for a visit. He has made the choice to take these two letters to the post office himself to post.

My husband very seldom makes any kind of rules at our home, mostly we do not need rules. But once a rule is made, that rule is set in stone. Today my husband made a rule.

amtolle

Weekend Workings

Change requires new ways of doing something, sometimes new plans and occasionally new location. The closure of the sheep and goat auction I have attended the past 5 years is a major change. Learning I am going to be a grandmother to triplets is a major change.

I am a sheep farmer, my income comes from the profit I make after paying expenses for selling the sheep I raise. Basic business plan is to keep expenses low in order to have more profit. The sheep auction was close to my farm. With the closure I had to determine where I am going to haul my market lambs in order to sell. I decided to sell the market lambs directly to the processor located three hour drive one way. The processor is honest and will give me a market price for the lambs. This processor purchased my market lambs at the sheep auction, I was saved the expense of transporting the market lambs the additional 2-3 hours farther.

My breeding sheep that I sell does not change. I have always sold the breeding stock directly off the farm. No change there. I will lose the opportunity to make contacts for those wanting breeding stock. I will have to go to social media to sell.

The one problem that took some time to work a plan on was where to sell the cull sheep. The cull sheep are ewes who have lived past 8 years of age or have problems delivering lambs. I have found a sheep auction located 3 hours drive from where I live, in the opposite direction of the processor to sell the cull ewes.

Sheep farm problems solved, at least for now.

Every week I receive information in the mail and phone calls of realtors stating they have a person interested in buying my home. The real estate market is very “hot” in my location. There are more people wanting to move into this area, than there are home available. Majority of real estate listings do not stay on the market past 30 days before being under contract of purchase. Quick sells are the norm for my location.

I received such a notice in the mail this past week, saying they were looking for a home for themselves. I decided to give them a call. They came out Saturday. People tell so many lies. They were not looking for themselves but was “fishing” for a listing in my area, for a quick sale and money in their pocket.

We have entertained the idea of selling our property with the desire to move closer to my daughter who is pregnant with triplets. I know that for the next several years a helping hand will be appreciated, or more a “taxi”. My daughter’s family wants their children to be around animals and see farm life. But with the size of their soon to be family, that is monetarily out of the picture. They will have to visit Granny’s and PawPaw’s place to see and experience farm life.

We will eventually move closer, but not today and not this year.

The other activity was planting the flower and vegetable garden area. I love working in the dirt. One of my favorite places to go shopping and even window shopping is a garden center or nursery. I love looking at plants. My husband took me to the local nursery. I was able to find some plants to add to my garden area.

I also discovered Chronicles Bells. They make the most lovely sounding windchimes. The soft, harmonious sound of the windchimes was relaxing and soothing to my busy mind. The drawback was the price, the windchimes I desired were $240.00 USD. More than my budget would allow at this time. They are on the waiting list, maybe Christmas gift list. If you have the opportunity to listen to these windchimes, they are worth the effort, and the money.

I planted and transplanted vegetables and flower in the garden area. I also had to do some clean up from the winter in order to plant. I took pictures and will have future posts on what and how I place plants in my garden area and containers.

We also did the regular activities of feeding animals, buying grain and dog food, groceries. There is always something that needs to be done on the farm. I enjoy what I do.

amtolle