Tag: quietness

Stormy Night

The rain steadily drops to the ground. Thunder roars in the darkness of a black night, only lit by the answering lightening. A storm raging outside, just like the storm within. Trying hard to love, yet there is anger due to the sin of another. To take the life of self is forbidden, yet forgiveness is to be given. The life craves grace and kindness, the sin of another brings anger from within. Angry words desire to roar as thunder across a midnight sky. Flashes of light brings glimpse of truth, shows the struggle is not in vain.
What right, what purpose to take the life of self in front of the life that was brought forth as a blessing. Just as the thunder roars, the anger roars within. The light is short and bright to show the effects of the rain and the storm. The light brings forth the sadness of tears flowing for what might have been a loss of several lives.
As this midnight storm will pass, the thunder quiet in the darkness and lightening cease to be seen so will the storm within subside, giving way to quiet peace. The morning sun will show the blessings of the storm. The grass will reach upward. Majestic trees will stretch with the coming of the light of day. Storms bring the rain, the water from above to wash the grime of daily struggle bringing a breeze of freshness to the air.
Struggle weighs down a heart, brings weariness to all parts. The storm stirs all things, bringing life to the surface and focus to the Son. Fear not the storm or the roaring thunder, look sharp for the brilliant truth light. Flow with the life-giving streams and soak in the lesson to be learned. For storms are needed to spur the growth within.
So, the storm within will subside to the quiet peace that is striven towards. The blessings brought will give life as the struggle to reach upwards towards the Son. Stretching like the majestic trees praise will be heard. The grime of sin will be washed away bringing breath of life and promise to a new day.

amtolle

Prescription: Lamb Cuteness

This week has been tough emotionally. When I try to speak to my adoptive family about my adoption, I go on an emotional roller coaster. What do I do when the emotions start to become overwhelming? I go to the ewe and lamb pen. Since I am not very good and fast with the making of videos, I borrowed a cute lamb video from you tube.

And when I do not have lambs I go to you tube and watch a few videos. Who can not love the way the jump and race around? Young lambs show the joy of just being alive. Something I need reminded of this week. There is joy in just being alive.

I sit, breath, watch and focus on the moment, not my past. The lambs are a fast fix of my emotions. I just have to sit and watch.

Each of us has times when emotions seem to go wild in our lives. My emotions go wild when I think about not being told I was adopted by my parents. The fact I did not have facts until I was 48 is hard sometimes. I usually just push it out of my mind. But maybe the Creator is telling me I need to face it and know it. Not push the facts out of my mind on some back dusty corner shelf, but learn to embrace that part of my life, and not let the deceit of a lifetime control my emotions.

Today, was a day to just be. I watched the lambs. Groomed the horses. No talking to relatives, to researching for answers, no writing on the book to come. Just being. Letting the sea of emotions calm to focus on what I will be doing next.

I took the day off and watched lambs jump for joy.

amtolle