This week has been tough emotionally. When I try to speak to my adoptive family about my adoption, I go on an emotional roller coaster. What do I do when the emotions start to become overwhelming? I go to the ewe and lamb pen. Since I am not very good and fast with the making of videos, I borrowed a cute lamb video from you tube.
And when I do not have lambs I go to you tube and watch a few videos. Who can not love the way the jump and race around? Young lambs show the joy of just being alive. Something I need reminded of this week. There is joy in just being alive.
I sit, breath, watch and focus on the moment, not my past. The lambs are a fast fix of my emotions. I just have to sit and watch.
Each of us has times when emotions seem to go wild in our lives. My emotions go wild when I think about not being told I was adopted by my parents. The fact I did not have facts until I was 48 is hard sometimes. I usually just push it out of my mind. But maybe the Creator is telling me I need to face it and know it. Not push the facts out of my mind on some back dusty corner shelf, but learn to embrace that part of my life, and not let the deceit of a lifetime control my emotions.
Today, was a day to just be. I watched the lambs. Groomed the horses. No talking to relatives, to researching for answers, no writing on the book to come. Just being. Letting the sea of emotions calm to focus on what I will be doing next.
I took the day off and watched lambs jump for joy.