Conquer Fear?

Bloganuary Daily Prompt for 1/15/2023: What fear have you conquered?

Fear – What is fear exactly? My old dictionary defines fear as a noun as an apprehension of evil or dread. As a verb the definition is to regard with apprehension. A synonym of fear is timidity.

Conquer is defined as to gain by conquest; to overcome; to subdue.

We all have fear or fears. I have multiple fears. The majority of my fears has been brought about by some traumatic event in my lifetime. There are only two fears that I might have been born with – fear of snakes and spiders. With snakes there is an event in my early childhood when a cousin and uncle threw a snake at me and it went down the back of my dress. I developed the fear of spiders by a different set of cousins throwing spiders and bugs at me.

I can trace most of my fears to having trust issues. The lack of trust probably started when I was a baby, since I am adopted. The abandonment of a child whether for adoption or just being left with a relative or somewhere safe leaves the child with trust issues and feelings of rejection.

The years of my childhood affected my years when I was young, and up until about ten years ago. I found a really good counselor who helped me to understand my fears and anxieties, define the roots of those fears and develop steps to manage my life on my terms, not a as response to fear and anxiety.

Today, I have a job. Of which I am good at. I try very hard to do what I am asked, and to do it with perfection, as I do not want to be rejected. I am enjoying the job I have and those I work with. The atmosphere of the business is good for me to continue my growth in being able to work in society.

There are times I will step forward with bravery and not be afraid. Such as when I purchased a ram I needed. For the most part, I avoid doing anything that will lead to confrontation or rejection.

What fears have I conquered? None. I am able to cope with my fears.

amtolle

Some “Fear” is Good

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Fear. An emotion we deal with, each of us, at some point in our lives. Sometimes we seek out “fear” such as riding roller coasters or visiting haunted houses and watching horror movies at Halloween. The fear fuels excitement and adrenaline. A few seek out this type of fear for the thrill of the adrenaline rush it brings to their senses.

Then there is fear of animals. I am afraid of snakes, all snakes no matter the size. I have a solution when I see a snake, a shotgun. My fear of snakes started before I was five years old, when a relative threw a snake at me and it went down my shirt. After that, I have not ever desired to be around snakes. Others have fear of spiders, or dogs biting them and even horses.

Then there is the fear than hinders our lives. I have anxiety traveling in a car. I was in a car accident that almost killed me. Since then I have trouble traveling in a car with traffic. If I am the only one on the road there is no problem. A lot of cars traveling fast, serious anxiety. My anxiety is based on a lack of trust. I do not trust other drivers to keep their vehicle in the lane they are driving in. Some have such strong fears they are unable to leave their home. Each time I drive or ride in the vehicle with someone else driving I have to work at controlling the fear. With my diligence in working through this fear, I have hope of eventually conquering this fear in my life.

And lastly there is good fear. The fear that bring caution and attention in what you are doing. While refurbishing an old dresser for my daughter, I learned to use a table saw. When using any electric power saw, I am a little fearful. I have known people who are missing parts of and sometimes whole fingers due to the fast turning blade of a saw. The saw blade on a table saw is totally in the open, waiting to cut something, even your finger. The fear of losing a finger, causes me to be extra careful while operating the saw.

Sometimes I am afraid of certain people, cautious, not trusting. I do not run from them, but I watch and walk away. The inside of me is telling me not to trust that person, and the situation is not safe. There have been times I have had the same feeling of not trusting, not safe when approaching a strange horse or dog. Feelings warning me of danger.

Fear should not control our lives or hinder us from joy. But sometimes we should listen to those small feelings of fear, to be cautious and safe in what we are doing or where we are at.

amtolle