Bloganuary Daily Prompt for 1/15/2023: What fear have you conquered?
Fear – What is fear exactly? My old dictionary defines fear as a noun as an apprehension of evil or dread. As a verb the definition is to regard with apprehension. A synonym of fear is timidity.
Conquer is defined as to gain by conquest; to overcome; to subdue.
We all have fear or fears. I have multiple fears. The majority of my fears has been brought about by some traumatic event in my lifetime. There are only two fears that I might have been born with – fear of snakes and spiders. With snakes there is an event in my early childhood when a cousin and uncle threw a snake at me and it went down the back of my dress. I developed the fear of spiders by a different set of cousins throwing spiders and bugs at me.
I can trace most of my fears to having trust issues. The lack of trust probably started when I was a baby, since I am adopted. The abandonment of a child whether for adoption or just being left with a relative or somewhere safe leaves the child with trust issues and feelings of rejection.
The years of my childhood affected my years when I was young, and up until about ten years ago. I found a really good counselor who helped me to understand my fears and anxieties, define the roots of those fears and develop steps to manage my life on my terms, not a as response to fear and anxiety.
Today, I have a job. Of which I am good at. I try very hard to do what I am asked, and to do it with perfection, as I do not want to be rejected. I am enjoying the job I have and those I work with. The atmosphere of the business is good for me to continue my growth in being able to work in society.
There are times I will step forward with bravery and not be afraid. Such as when I purchased a ram I needed. For the most part, I avoid doing anything that will lead to confrontation or rejection.
What fears have I conquered? None. I am able to cope with my fears.