Holidays – Page 3 – Me, Myself and I

Lonely Holidays

The holiday celebrations of Thanksgiving and Christmas are approaching. For some those holidays are surrounded with family and friends. There are others who spend the holidays alone or only with a spouse.

Last year we were blessed with family and friends for Christmas feast, great conversation and just the presence of people in the home. This year it will only be my spouse and I to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas. Family members have other places they need to be this year.

There have been many celebrations at our home with only my spouse and I to attend. A few years past, I decided not to put up decorations, reasoning was no one was coming to see or share. After three years of no decorations, I realized that regardless of who visits or does not, I still need to celebrate.

My husband and I have lived in our current residence for twelve years. In those twelve years we have not had one child, teenager or adult come to our home for trick-o-treating. There were children across the street, and down the road. No one came. I still buy candy, just in case I get a visitor on Halloween night. I still decorate, carve a pumpkin and enjoy the evening watching Harry Potter movies with my husband. We celebrate for ourselves.

Thanksgiving will be celebrated alone this year. My husband has to work the holiday. I will fix the traditional turkey dinner, give thanks, and we will have leftover for days. We are blessed with family, him having a job, the sheep doing well, and we have good health. Reasons to have a celebration of thanksgiving.

There is nothing wrong with celebrating the holidays alone. Most times we are depressed because the holiday is not what we had visioned. Other times it is missing loved ones who are unable to attend, or are no longer with us. Time changes our lives and those who we share it with. These changes do not mean we can not enjoy celebrating holidays, we just change our way of celebrating and start new different traditions.

When my husband’s son and family lived close, they have two boys, I started putting a train under the Christmas tree. Kids love trains under trees or just anywhere. I enjoyed the train. I also have the beginnings of a Christmas village, that is added to one item each year. Five years ago, I put the Christmas village and train together on an 8 foot X 4 foot board. Last year with all the people attending Christmas, I did not have room for my Christmas Village and train. Tonight, at dinner, I was discussing with my husband I think I can get the board with my train to sit over the couch, since no one will be here to sit on the couch, that way I have room for my train and village, and the Christmas tree. He just laughed.

Each year there is a laugh over our Christmas decorations. One big joke between us is that not everything on clearance at a really low price is the best item to buy. Three years ago, we were in Wal-Mart looking at Christmas clearance, after Christmas. There were 7 foot Christmas trees on sale for $25.00. I thought great, my old tree ( close to thirty years old) was showing some wear. We purchased the tree. The following year I went to put the tree up with a vision of putting the tree on our square coffee table with the train underneath. Vision burst when the tree was way too tall. It is a laugh each Christmas on where I am going to put the Christmas tree as there are limited places due to the angel or star hitting the ceiling. I am glad we have a vaulted ceiling.

Holidays can be lonely times. I was depressed that my visions of having a house full for holiday celebrations did not and would not happen. Last year was great. This year will be my husband and I. He has to work, and my daughter and her family will be staying home. I will still fix the traditional dinner of Navajo Tacos with green chilli. We will open gifts, maybe have some wine and watch ” A Wonderful Life” followed by “The Grinch”. Celebrating helps with the depression that arrives during the holidays, even if you have to celebrate alone or only with your spouse.

Life is a celebration, it is up to us to choose to celebrate Life.

amtolle

Happy Labor Day

Labor Day was started to recognize the working people who keep things going for our everyday needs, mostly unions and labor organization would celebrate this day as honoring the working class. In 1893 New York City had the first Labor Day parade. States began recognizing Labor Day as a day of celebration for the working class. In 1994 Labor Day became a federal holiday.

The Bar BQ, picnics, and family get togethers are another common tradition of Labor Day. The last time of gathering for some summer fun and family connection before the school year started. Many still participate sharing Labor Day this way with family.

While the working people may not be recognized by government or the media, they are the gears that keep our economy and life going. Working to provide the products we need, as well as supporting their families. To have a federal holiday for this celebration is a small reward.

I had my first job at age 15, although I helped my father in his business before this. I have worked everyday since then to support myself and my family, almost 50 years. Since I do not have a huge nest egg for retirement, I will continue to work for the rest of my life. I can celebrate Labor Day as my holiday, a day for the common worker.

There are many traditions associated with Labor Day. One well known tradition is not wearing white after Labor Day. This custom was started by the wealthy elite to distinguish themselves from “new money” and the working class. Wearing white while vacationing was a way of showing their wealth off to others. Personally, I wear white as I look good in white, regardless of the time of year.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy celebration this Labor Day weekend.

amtolle

Christmas In July

Christmas is my favorite holiday to celebrate. I enjoy decorating the house for Christmas. Each year I create a new item to add to the decorations for my house. For me, I need to start early in creating the new item as I have a busy schedule.

One other tradition I started when my children were small is Christmas shopping. I start in July. By starting in July I have time to make unrushed choices in the gifts I purchase for family and friends. I have the time to research and make quality choices in the gifts I purchase.

Another benefit to starting my shopping early is the ease on my bank account. I am able to spread the cost of Christmas gifts over six months, instead of three or four weeks. By spreading the cost over several months, I have a larger budget for Christmas shopping.

Another option for those who love to fight the crowds on “Black Friday” is to have discipline to start early and save for the purchase of gifts. I personally do not like the large crowds in the stores on “Black Friday”. And there have been times I waited hoping for a better price on “Black Friday”, only to not be able to find the gift to purchase. Starting in July, I may not have the lower price, but I do have the item to wrap and give.

I like to wrap the gifts to look special. I am able to spend time a creatively wrap the gifts for each person. Creating name tags and bows unique as the person receiving the gift.

Christmas cards are started in July. I pick out the card and address the envelopes using Calligraphy. In December I will write the Christmas Letter to place in each envelope, seal and mail. Most people receive junk mail and bills in the mail, I keep an old fashion tradition of giving Christmas cards to send cheer in an unexpected place, the mailbox.

I do go shopping in December. I pick out the next year’s Christmas cards as they go on sale. I also buy wrapping paper and supplies when those items are on sale in December. Stocking stuffers are purchased along with peppermint candy canes and candy that is only around during the Christmas season.

After Christmas is a shopping time with every store wanting to get rid of all things related to Christmas. Three years ago I purchased a six foot tree for $25.00 on sale, regular price was over $100.00. There are good deals after Christmas, although the selection is very meager.

Each year when I put the tree up, for a short time there are numerous creatively decorated presents under the tree, until I package and ship.

amtolle

Frog Eye Salad, a tradition

There are some recipes our family uses in celebration of different seasons and holidays. Frog Eye Salad is an Easter dinner tradition. I found the recipe years ago in a school generated cookbook. The school collects recipes from the families of students attending, and compile the recipes into a cookbook and sell them to raise funds for specific items or programs at the school.

Where the name Frog Eye salad comes from I do not know as there are no frog eyes in the recipe. It is a sweet tropical pasta fruit salad. There are three parts to the recipe: the sauce, the pasta and the fruit. I do variations of the recipe depending on what is in the cupboard at the time. I will put my variations in parenthesis to show the difference from the original recipe.

The Sauce:

1 Cup of Sugar 2 Tablespoons of flour 1/2 teaspoon of salt 1-3/4 Cups of Pineapple juice ( I get the juice from the cans of fruit I am adding, or if I am using fresh pineapple, after blending the pineapple I strain the juice into a cup ) 2 eggs beaten 1 Tablespoon lemon juice

Combine sugar, flour and salt, stir. Beat eggs then add to pineapple juice. Add the juice/eggs to flour mix, stir well, cook over moderate or medium heat, stirring the mixture until it thickens. I like the consistency of thick gravy. Once the sauce has thickened, remove from the heat and add 1 Tablespoon of lemon juice, can be fresh or bottled.

The pasta:

The type of pasta is Acini de Pepe or pearl pasta. Same pasta two different names.

16 ounces of pasta

Cook pasta according to directions until al dente. Really soft pasta does not hold up in the pasta salad. Drain.

In an airtight container mix the pasta and the sauce together and refrigerate until cold.

The Fruit:

3 – 11 ounce cans of mandarin oranges, drained 2- 20 ounce cans of pineapple chunks, drained 1- 20 ounce can of crushed pineapple, drained

(I will substitute fruit cocktail for a can of mandarin oranges or one can of pineapple. The pineapple makes the salad. One fresh pineapple is substituted for all the canned pineapple chunks and crushed. I also drained Maraschino cherries to add color to the salad for July 4th. )

1 – Cup of miniature marshmallows (I consider these optional, if I have them I use them. If I do not it does not distract from overall taste.)

1 – Cup of coconut (This is listed as optional, but I consider it a main ingredient. The flavor combination of pineapple, oranges and coconut are what give this salad character. )

Fold the fruit, marshmallows and coconut into the pasta, until well blended and refrigerate until cold.

If kept in an airtight container in the refrigerator, this salad can keep for up to a week.

amtolle

Easter

I love spring, the beginning of the year for me. When everything comes out of the winter hibernation and shows their bright new colors, flowers, trees, grass, and the animals. The animals get a winter coat, when they shed off the winter hair, their color is brighter, cleaner.

Before Easter, there is spring cleaning. The house looks and smells great after a week of deep cleaning. Removing the old to let the new in.

All these things cause a renewing of my inner being, soul and spirit, much as it was intended by our Creator. Easter the celebration of the resurrection of Christ. Resurrection of what was dead to new life displayed each spring and celebrated.

I always dream of having all the children, their spouses and the grandchildren in one place for Easter. As yet, the dream has not happened. Each child has their lives and their children to celebrate. Not to mention the hundreds of miles that separate all of us.

This year my husband has to work. I will go to church alone, which happens a lot since he works most weekends, a crazy schedule 7 on 2 off 8 on and 3 off. Crazy schedule. For some strange reason I have yet to learn the basis of, I still spring clean the house, decorate two weeks before the celebration. A day or two before Easter, I will dye or color eggs, I enjoy the colored eggs that become deviled eggs or potato salad later. I will prepare a meal for Easter, even if the meal is only for two.

I will not let the fact my children and grandchildren will not be present to celebrate, keep me from celebrating and having joy for the Easter. A friend decided not to decorate any longer for Christmas or fix a special meal, it was too much work, there was no one but the two of them. Their children grown with families, and distance prevented them from being with my friend and her husband. They stopped celebrating Christmas, and Christmas became a depressing time of the year for them. I refuse to let that happen to me.

Time changes the way we celebrate occasions as children grow up, have families, people move. Change does not mean to stop celebrating, only to celebrate differently. My children call, I talk with the grandchildren. I am sent videos of the funny or cute things that happen that day. I am always sent pictures of the egg hunts and activities.

We may not be in the same location, but in our hearts we are celebrating together.

Happy Easter. Happy Resurrection Day.

amtolle

Birthdays

Today is my husband’s birthday.

Another year older, and I hope a lot wiser.

For years, actually most of my life, I did not give much thought to my own birthday. It was another day, I received gifts, but no big celebration or fan fare. I began to believe that my birth nor my being was of much importance in the universe. My self worth was very low, I was unimportant and there was no need to celebrate me becoming older. Age is just a number, no need to acknowledge or celebrate one more year.

Then I joined the “Birthday Club” at a church I was attending. Each month we would celebrate not the birthday, but the fact a woman was born. When we signed up, we were to put our birthdate on the form so the organizer would make sure we were not acknowledging the fact we were born in the same month of our birth. I realized that my birth was important and a reason to celebrate.

Now I celebrate the birthdays of those I know. Those I can be with get a card and gift. I like to send flowers to my daughters. I mail cards and sometimes small gifts to my grandchildren. I want them to know I think they are important to me and I love them.

The day of our birth is special and unique as that is the very first day we greeted our parents, became a family, and said “Hello world, here I have arrived!” We should celebrate each year we have shared our lives with others, as others did not have some many years to share with others.

When I celebrate my birthday, I celebrate that I have survived as long as I have. Acknowledging all the health warnings for activities I did as a child, it is a miracle I am alive.

Yes, I drank from a garden hose, rode in the back of a pickup truck traveling the speed limit or more down the highway. As a child, the vehicles were not made with seatbelts. It is a wonder the baby boom generation even survived at all.

But I had a life of roaming anywhere I wanted, only had to be home for supper. I remember riding my bicycle down the gravel hill near home barefoot. We would go to the top of the hill and pedal as fast as we could, then let go of the handle bars plus put our feet up on the back fender of the rear wheel. On one run, I missed the back fender and my bare toes went into the rapidly spinning spokes. WIPE OUT! Nearly took my toe off in the spokes. Blood all over my toe and foot. Removed my toe nail off my big toe. My reaction, go into the house for a pair of shoes, and out the door to see if I could go faster. Have I gotten wiser as I have gotten older. I would love to try that stunt again, only I will keep my shoes on.

Birthdays celebrate the number of years you have shared your life with family, friends and others.

How to you feel about birthdays? I hope you feel they are worth celebrating. You being alive is worth celebrating.

amtolle

Happily Ever After

We all dream of living a “Happily Ever After” life with someone we love. We observe couples who always seem to be comfortable and happy together. Often a thoughts comes to our minds – they are only acting in front of others, behind closed doors I bet it is different.

I believe in “Happily Ever After”. That does not mean my husband and I agree on everything all the time. Or we never have negative feelings about the other. We do not agree all the time and sometimes we get frustrated or upset with the other. But we placed rules on our relationship at the very beginning.

We had both been in in unhappy marriages, both gotten divorced, and both knew we did not want to live in the type of relationships we had before.

First Rule – do not yell or raise your voice in anger. Nobody likes to be yelled at. I had spent 15 years being yelled at by my previous husband, and I yelled back. Kids do not like parents yelling at each other. Likewise, he had experienced the same thing, just not in front of his children. Talk to me, do not yell at me.

Second Rule – We have to agree before making big purchases. Money is the number one reason couples fight and for divorces. We decided to discuss purchases great and small. We usually shop together, since I am not fond of crowds. But at gift giving, we agree on maximum amount to be spent to keep our budget balanced. I balance the money accounts and track all expenses.

Third Rule – We have to communicate. We talk everyday, about everything. If he does something I do not like, actually it is usually something he does not do that bothers me. We have a focused discussion, I tell how I feel about the subject, we come up with a solution or compromise. I have had to change some behaviors and he has had to change. Then as you get older you both change and have to discuss those changes as well.

In our relationship, the house and place are mine to do with as I want. If I want to paint a wall red, I can. I decorate, plant bushes and a garden. I care for the sheep and critters we have. The house is my place to do pretty much what I want.

One day, my husband comes home from work and finds the neighbor’s tractor in our front yard, an enormous pile of dirt in the yard and a large pile of chunks of cement, and a huge, deep “moat” in front of the house, and unable to get to the front door.

My husband enters the home using the back door and askes, “Honey how was your day?”

My response ” I am tired of skunks!” We had a serious skunk problem.

Then he asked, “why the tractor and dirt was in the front yard?

“Because the skunks walk up the sliding sidewalk to get under the floor of the house. We can not sleep in our bedroom again, because it stinks. I removed the sidewalk, now they can not get under the floor of the house. In a week I can sleep in my bed.” He laughed and said “ok.”

When he said ok, I realized I probably should have discussed this plan of action with him before I had the moat in the front yard. But, I am married to an awesome man, he was not angry, upset, frustrated. I was at the skunks. He just laughed and went on. The skunks were a problem, and I came up with a solution.

Communication is also just asking about the other’s day, expressing ideas, discussing a movie or book. Just everyday talk to says “You are important to me and I value you”.

Rule Four – Forgive and Learn. We learn from our mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. My husband and I have made a decision together, and it was a mistake. The reminding of mistakes does not help a relationship grow. I call it dragging around the garbage. If you have discussed the problem, learned from it and come up with a plan or solution, and forgave, then leave it in the dump.

I learned from the skunk story, I should discuss large actions with my husband before I start them.

I am sure there are other principles and rules a person could say leads to a happy and healthy relationship with someone. But these are the main ones for us.

After 12 years of marriage, this summer we had our first fight. Not much. I got angry, he got angry, we both yelled at the other. We did not let it stay and simmer long. We both calmed down, important to calm down before continuing. Then we discussed why I got angry, then why he was angry. We learned what each one did wrong and right, we forgave and moved forward.

I am married to my best friend, my biggest supporter, my rock as he keeps me from doing too many projects at once, and the love of my life.

amtolle

Let Us Celebrate Loved Ones

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, our lives have changed. There is not ever going back to “the normal” we used to know. Some of the routines of how we celebrated events and special days have evolved.

The constant staying at home was depressing, and I choose to fight back. Starting in 2020 after the lockdowns began, I started putting flower arrangements within the décor for each season and holiday. I use artificial flowers so they last from year to year, and I do not have to worry about the care. For Valentine’s Day, the flowers are red and white roses. This year I added red candles.

Traditionally for Valentine’s Day, my husband and I would exchange cards and go out to our favorite restaurant, Red Lobster. The once a year visit due to the prices on the menu. Last year, we did not celebrate Valentine’s Day as we were without electricity for four days, had well below freezing temperatures. We were too busy chopping wood and keeping the fireplace going since it was our only source of heat. We did roast hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire in the fireplace just like camping.

Since the past two years we did not celebrate Valentine’s Day, I decided I would plan something special and surprise my husband. He loves beef steaks grilled. I am fixing steak, with some vegetables grilled as well. I am baking cookies with red M&M’s, as he likes cookies better than cake. We will eat by candlelight. I have gotten him a small gift and card.

Valentine’s Day is one day that focuses on those we love, friends and family, not just couples. Last year I sent Valentine’s to all my grandchildren and I am doing the same this year.

Since the Covid-19 pandemic, our family does more phone calls and we try to keep in touch with each other. I send cards and small “I love you” gifts in the mail. We do not visit often. We cancel visits if anyone is feeling a little under the weather, so as to help prevent transmission of illness. We developed a way with video calling to have a “party” together, without physically being there.

What are your plans for the ones you love, children, spouses, friends and family? Maybe it is time to start something new.

Let those you care about know you love them.

amtolle