One Life Lesson

Bloganaury 14 we are asked to write concerning a life lesson we feel everyone can benefit from learning. There are several of life lessons I have had that could benefit others, patience, trust, forgiveness and others. Which one to choose.

I have lived a lot of life, some bad but I focus on the good. I did not automatically focus on the good in life, I had to teach myself to focus on the good. One event in my life was really bad and it left a large mark in my life. I named it “hell”. I defined “hell” as:

“Hell” greets me in the morning with the rising sun,

“Hell” shadows me during the day where ever I go,

“Hell” is ever present at every sunset,

“Hell” haunts the night and each of my dreams.

I developed a medical condition where I thought I was loosing my mind. My physician suggested a physiatrist while medical tests were performed. During a month visits with the physiatrist, I learned my hell had a name, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was not the only thing wrong with me, as there was a physical condition that required surgery to get me back to feeling better.

After the surgery many things changed mostly good. I married my husband and moved to another state.

We had lived in Texas for a few years, when I made a choice to have more out of life. I decided to see a counselor concerning the severe depression I was in. During the sessions with the counselor, I learned to focus on the good things in my life. I learned how to be in the present and now with mindfulness.

Learning to change ourselves is hard work. There were days I did not notice the “hell” that haunted me for years. And there were days that I could not get “hell” out of my thinking. With patience and persistence and a strong desire to change I am able to focus on what brings me joy. When “hell” would creep into my thoughts, I would think hard and focus and actively do something that brought joy.

It has been years since I have been to the counselor. But I still work everyday to focus on the present and now.

Today, I can fully enjoy the sunrise with the first glimmer of the sun’s face and not fear a shadow during my day. I enjoy the day and what it has to offer me. I relax watching the sunset without the fear of darkness or going to sleep fearing my “hell” will greet me in my dreams.

There are triggers that do bring my “hell” back. I have learned to be aware of the triggers. There are times I have to deal with my “hell”, but those times are getting fewer.

Not everyone suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but everyone does have bad days and bad events in their day. Make the good that happened in the day the focus will make the bad events and the problems, not go away, but get smaller. And sometimes, we have to make the good happen, such as a simple action that brings joy. For me I go outside and simply brush the hair on my horse or rub on the young filly born this year. Sometimes it is hot chocolate.

Look for and create the good things in your life.

Amtolle