happiness – Me, Myself and I

“Playtime”

Daily writing prompt

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

We live in a world with many distractions and stereotypes of how people should behave or be. I do have “playtime” in my life, I make time to have fun at whatever I am doing. When I was in high school, several decades ago, before computers and cell phones, an English teacher stated in class, “Attitude determines Altitude”. At the time I related the statement to career altitude and success. Today, I relate the state to having happiness and joy in my life daily.

Everyone is searching for happiness and joy in life. There is no need to search, for happiness and joy come from inside the person. I make a decision each morning to be happy. Oh, that does not mean my life is without challenges and disappointments. I choose to not let life circumstances steal my happiness.

I work in a small town grocery store. If a song comes on the income that I want to move my feet to, I do it while putting product on the shelf. When someone comes by, I always greet them with a smile. At home, if I want to dance, I dance. I have songs for mopping the floor, or doing the dishes. I tried to have a song for vacuuming, but the vacuum cleaner is to loud, so I just sing loudly when I vacuum. Whatever I am doing, I work at having fun while I do it.

In doing the chores for the sheep, I talk to them, scratch on them. I take time to watch the lambs run their races, jump and play. My stallion and I have a “game” when it comes to his feeding time. He runs, rears and shows off for me when it is feeding time. And I am the only person he performs his movements of strength for. The dogs and I run and play, although I do not run as much as they do. Staying active keeps me young, keeps my body strong and moving, maintains my flexibility and balance.

I do have my extra activities of crafts, making jewelry, sewing quilts or clothes, and creating items with epoxy resin. There is also the gardening. Running my bare hands through the dirt brings joy.

Perhaps it is my age, as I have lived six decades, I believe life should be fun. The only way to have fun is to make everyday tasks fun. I do not care what those who see me moving my feet and hips in the aisle think when they see me, as I am too old to give much thought to what others think. I am alive and work at enjoying my life.

amtolle

Happiness in Life

People desire to be happy, but few take the time to be happy. They are searching for happiness. Often happiness is equated with the amount of money a person has available to spend, the right vehicle or house. Happiness is not a tangible object we can hold and touch. Being happy is an emotion and a state of mind.

Events in life can bring forth happiness such as graduation, getting the dream job, a birth of a child, stirring up the emotion of being happy. Often short lived and quickly fading to other emotions.

My high school senior year English teacher stated to the class, “Happiness is a state of mind, a choice.” I had considered her statement with curiosity and the true meaning on if this statement was true.

Through the course of my life, I have learned her statement is true, happiness is a state of mind, and a choice. We can choose to be happy. Life events do not always bring happiness. The death of a family member causes us to go through grief and a period of sadness and emotional pain. The sudden loss of employment, resulting in stress and worry. There are a few who struggle with depression due to medical reasons or a life event. Our lives are intersected with many challenges, celebrations and disappointments, yet I choose to live a life in the state of being happy.

How does a person remain happy when life throws a “curve ball” into the well thought out plans? For me, it is to be focused on what is good in my life and at the moment. The first time my husband was laid off from his job, we had recently purchased our home and property, we were trying to get started in raising horses, and we had debts from before we were married. Our total income was suddenly stopped, with the one blessing of a severance package. We sold majority of the horses, cut out any unnecessary expenses, and he was looking for work. We did not know where we were even going to live, as his job search was taking a route of other places far from where we lived. I tend to worry, but instead I focused on the problem of cutting expenses and selling horses.

I could have gone down the deep dark hole of depression, as once again I was loosing my dream of raising horses. Instead I focused on how well the horses sold, knowing they were going to good homes. I focused on how well we were dealing with the situation as a couple by supporting and encouraging each other in this challenging period of our life. The most important thought was this will not last forever. These circumstances, this life changing event, would pass as it was not a permanent place we would be at. We both were working towards a change or a solution. He eventually was employed once more.

This particular life event was a life route changing event. I decided I was not ever going to raise horses as an income, although I enjoy doing so very much. That part or stage of my life was over. But I started raising sheep by “accident”. I enjoy raising sheep and the work involved. I still have a few riding horses, so I can still enjoy being with the horses, even though I am not raising horses.

Life will bring more changes into my path, as for one, the horses I currently own are getting older each year. My beloved dog companion, Bonnie Jo is in her last year or two of sharing life with me. I can focus on her problems, or I can enjoy her presence during our remaining time together.

A state of happiness is a choice of what you focus on, the problem or the everyday good things around you. The problems always feel like mountains in our road, but there is a pathway up and over the mountain if you look for it. Usually along the pathway over the mountain there are flowers to enjoy, breath taking views to see on the way to the top of accomplishment.

Each of us has the ability of making a choice.

amtollle

Measure of Success

Photo by Guduru Ajay bhargav on Pexels.com

At times I think about my life adventures and wonder have I succeeded. I am not monetary wealthy, or famous, or recorded in history for some great deed or discovery.

1. Outcome, Results

The first definition does not define or describe success very clearly. If the outcome and results are what you wanted then you would have success. So I read on, definition number 2:

2. A favorable termination of a venture.

The second definition is a clearer description. This definition can also be trap. The trap of if things do not turn out the way I wanted, then it is a failure, and not a success. I do not believe that is true. There are several ventures or goals I have set and did not get the results I was desiring, but were not necessarily a failure.

I think how we determine a favorable outcome of our venture determines our success. When I was in high school and a few years after, I wanted to become a veterinarian. I married, had a child, then was divorced. Working and parenting took up all my time as a single parent. I could not go to college, but I wanted to. During those years I was surviving. Almost two decades later I was able to attend college, I had remarried, had three more children who were in school, and I decided to become a school teacher. Finally I was attending college working towards a degree. Then life happened again, I was getting divorced, single parent with two teenagers at home, not enough hours in the day to finish college with a bachelors degree to teach. BUT, I did graduate with two associate degrees: associates of liberal arts (the planned degree) and associates of science (surprise degree). One of my happiest memories was graduation and seeing how proud my children were about me graduating.

Some may consider this to be a failure as I did not graduate with a bachelors degree for teaching. I consider it a success: I attended college, worked hard and GRADUATED. My degrees have opened doors for employment and a better wage than minimum wage. My attending college and doing homework with my young children when they were doing homework, has given them the desire to strive for a college education. All my children have attended college, three have graduated and one is still working on their degree. My small success has inspired their success. When they graduated I was happy and proud of their accomplishments as they were of mine.

I do not believe success can be measured by the bank account, assets or the size of house we live in. I believe the measure of success is the happiness we receive with ourselves at what we have done. You are successful in life when you are happy with your life. I know some very wealthy people who are not happy. They are on a constant search to find happiness in some activity. Others who do not have much of anything are some of the happiest people I know.

It is the things we accomplish that bring us success.

amtolle