Uncategorized – Page 2 – Me, Myself and I

Try and Try Again

I am headed for a new adventure. Due to the circumstances of my husband being laid off November 2023, and the need to increase the income in our budget, we are trying some new things. Baby boomers using technology to increase income. One stereotype I really dislike is when people say Baby Boomers do not know how to use technology. We are still able to learn. I would like to see the younger generations use a computer requiring all commands in DOS. I wonder, do they know what DOS is?

We are starting a YouTube channel to help bring attention to our sheep farm. The focus is to increase the sale and sale price of our sheep. The eligibility requirements of being paid by YouTube for advertising means there will be no income from YouTube directly for awhile. I am approaching this new adventure one method to bring attention to our sheep and our homestead.

Making a video is not as simple as it seems. There are challenges to setting up a camera phone on a makeshift tripod, then getting the sheep to cooperate with the videoing. Containing emotions and vocabulary when the sheep go the wrong direction because the herding dog had his own idea on where we wanted the sheep. Or practicing what you want to say as in introduction without stumbling over your words. Only to learn that the video stopped due to lack of storage on the cell phone.

After a couple of hours transferring the 974 photos and videos of my grandchildren to my computer. Deleting the said photos from the cell phone. I now have storage to make video footage for our new adventure. Only the sun went down and the lighting is horrible.

I will practice more in the mirror on speaking into a camera. Work at editing the small amount of video we did capture. Tomorrow we will try again to get video for this new adventure in our life.

Bloganaury 2023

Daily writing prompt

What are your biggest challenges?

View all responses

The past few months my biggest challenge is not to stress or worry about finances. In 2023, my husband had a decent job. I started working again outside of the farm, and the sheep were doing well. If we stayed with the budget our little homestead would be paid in full in five years and my husband could retire from working. Things were going well.

Then November arrived and my husband was laid off. He has reached the age to get full benefits from Social Security Retirement. So, he registered for social security. The amount he is receiving is not near what his earning income was. Our budget is way short of getting our little homestead paid in full in the next five years. Our budget is short on just meeting the monthly requirements of electricity, food, fuel, mortgage, cell phone, and insurance. We do not have cable, have not for years. No extras such as eating out or going places on vacation. Money was not there before he was laid off and it definitely is not there now.

My first response is to stress knowing it does not help the situation. My biggest challenge at the beginning of the new year is to not stress. He is looking for work. We have a few ideas on how to bring additional income to the homestead and have started implementing those ideas. Currently, bills are being paid from the income we do receive and the little we are short comes from our small saving account.

In years past, we have never had the electricity turned off, gone without food, or missed a mortgage payment. The Creator always opens a door and leads us to a pathway to travel.

amtolle

Changes in a New Year

Reflections of the past year and looking toward the future year, 2024 will be a year of change for me, my husband and the sheep farm. Change not by choice, but by force of events. Looking back through decades of life, change is not new. Change happens to each of us on a continually. We make decisions and circumstances happen that require us to change. Honestly, I do not like change.

The past few months, I have not been writing as much. I enjoy the writing process of putting thoughts into words, expressing ideas and sharing. In the next year, I am making changes to my daily life tasks to have time to do a few things I enjoy doing, one of those is writing. It may take longer to get the shelter built for the sheep or other farm projects done, but I am going to make time to do two things I really enjoy doing, one is writing.

Since November, my husband has not been working. His layoff affected our monthly income drastically and my future projections of having our home paid off before he retired. He has been looking for work, but has not been hired. There are laws in this country that does not allow an employer to discriminate against age, but proving that the company is discriminating by age is difficult to prove in a court of law. Most potential employers look at him and his age as a person who is going to retire soon. The truth is due to our home mortgage and inflation, retirement is not an event either of us is going to enjoy.

We are going to venture out into social media and start a YouTube channel. Saying older people or baby boomers are unable to learn technology is one of the biggest stereotypes than I distaste. There are many baby boomers that use technology daily, smart phones, smart television and the internet on a daily basis. Perhaps we find more enjoyment in reading a book on kindle than play the countless games available on our phones. Or we do not really care when a friend goes to Starbucks by watching one of the many apps that track where everyone is located. But we do use technology daily.

With the crunch in our income, it is necessary to give up on some dreams. I had this dream of when my husband was able to retire after the mortgage was paid off, that we would be able to do more horseback riding together. An activity we both enjoy, but have had little time to do together with his work schedule. Due to our financial situation at this time, I am going to have to sale two and perhaps three of my beloved horses. I have not had the time to ride as much as I desire, and horses are expensive to feed. The horses do not bring in any income, only an expense that we can no longer afford to pay. So in the next few months I will be preparing two horses for sale and finding them homes.

Not all change is bad. There are good things in change. One truth about change, is change is happening all the time. We make plans for our current situation, but we do not see the future or the changes that may come our way. In a month or two, our current situation could totally change.

amtolle

Terraces and Wheat

The month of October has been so busy. It is hard for me to even think the month is over, but here I am in November. I have been tired, physically and mentally, and not writing much. I am feeling good about all that has been accomplished.

The first terraces I built are working great. Last week we received rain for five days in a row, not a huge amount about 5 inches total. Thankful for the rain. After the first three days of rain, I had to check my terraces. How did the terraces hold up? Did the terraces slow the water and redirect as planned? I was thrilled to see the terraces do the job I had planned and built them to do. With the rain, the grasses started filling in the area. Satisfaction in having planned and completed a project that did as I had hoped.

Another huge accomplishment in October was getting the pasture seeded in winter wheat. My husband and I were trying to figure out a way of seeding the pasture since we do not own a no till drill or any type of seeder to do a large area. Then, I seen where a neighbor was seeding others’ pastures, pastures he was leasing. I asked if he could seed my pasture as well and the cost. He said yes, but did not give me the cost. He seeded my pasture with my seed for no cost. I was relieved to have the pasture seeded. Now to have rain for the seed to germinate and grow. Thankfully we received the rain, the winter wheat germinated and started growing. Along with the winter wheat growing, the pasture grasses started growing after receiving the much needed moisture.

The first week of November we are able to put the sheep on pasture, and not feed hay.

There was another project scheduled for October, a new water filtration system. Our water is not from a public utility, we have well water. Our filtration system and water softener only did a limited amount of purifying our water, so we did not drink the water or use it for cooking. There was nothing harmful in the water, it was just high in salts. We have our water tested yearly for safety in drinking, and the water tests safe to drink. But we did not like the taste. We purchased a better filtration system, softener and an osmosis system for under the kitchen sink. In order to put this new system in our barn, we had to make some changes of moving things around to create the needed space for the new system. On October 28, they put the new system in place. Now we have cooking and drinking water in the kitchen. This new system is supposed to pull all the iron and calcium elements from the water resulting in no more deposits on faucets and brown toilets.

Meat training in Amarillo was cancelled. The company I work for decided it was too expensive to send and pay for hotel rooms for those wanting to attend the meat training school. Meat cutter training is being done in each store. Two days a week I go in for meat cutter training. I am progressing quite well. I enjoy learning from my supervisor. He is a really good meat cutter and department manager. The store where we work is one of the smallest in the chain of stores, yet this meat department has the highest profit percentage and often out sells the bigger stores in nearby area. I want to learn to be as good and profitable meat cutter as he is.

I work two days a week as the meat department employee on my own. I have been limited in what I can do in putting meat on the shelf for the customer as I was not able to cut meat to replace. My supervisor would work extra on the days before he was off, to have cut meat for the shelf the next day. Not anymore. My training has progressed to the place I am able to cut meat for the shelf on his days off. I still require training on the meat saw. Any meat product that has a bone, I am not able to cut. But everything else, I can cut for the shelf.

Yesterday, my supervisor informed me that my meat cutting abilities were really good. My cuts were beautiful and varied. I am able to see the various meat products that can be cut from a portion of meat. My cutting ability allows for a pleasant presentation of the product. I still need to identify all the different steaks and cuts that I create, and to learn to safely operate the meat saw. My skills are of high level meat cutting, and when training is complete, I will be able to get a job in any store.

It is common knowledge among employees that the company we work for does not pay much. My supervisor makes more than any other department manager as they want to keep him at this store. He could make more and has, but that requires traveling to the metroplex, something he does not want to do. Like me, he works there by choice. But having the option of going somewhere else in a high demand profession is a comfort.

Yes my time has been busy with projects, work and training, not allowing for much time to write. I have missed the writing and will be working on my schedule to create more time to write. There are still many projects that need to be started and completed on the farm. I need to get to riding two horses so they will be ready to sell in March. I am going to be in lambing season in a week or two, as the ewes are getting ready to have their babies. I have some of last lambing ewes being bred, for lambs in five to six months. Since my time is limited, I am starting to decorate for Christmas now, in order to have the decorating done for my son and his family visit this Christmas.

So much to do but with joy and hope for a good outcome in the next few months.

amtolle

“A Home Run out of a Walk”

People join us and leave us on our journey through life. This past week, I have been dealing with the loss of a special friend. Our journey together began with me answering a help wanted ad for someone to clean stalls in a 16 stall barn.

They had Arabians in the barn. They used to train riders and horses for endurance racing. Newspaper clippings displayed in the barn restroom and their website, they were really good at training horses and riders for this strenuous and demanding equine competition.

When I arrived for the interview, the wife, met me and did the initial interview. But, before I could be hired, I had to pass his interview. She asked me what experience I had with horses. How many I owned, trained, and if I had been around stallions. Basic resume type questions. Then the time came to talk with her husband, Hank.

Hank’s first question was, “Have you ever worked with Arabians?”. I answered yes, I had owned two. Told of the four year old Arabian mare I purchased, that I had to no training or handling. How I trained her to halter and to lead in 15 minutes. Listening to me talk about my Arabian mare, he grinned. Through our discussion he learned the breed of horse I loved was Appaloosas.

In the horse trainer/rider environment there are prejudices. The number one horse prejudiced against is Arabians. The second is Appaloosas. There are many myths and false assumptions concerning these two breed of horses. The consensus is a person either loves or hates these two breeds.

I was hired to clean 16 stalls and the barn on the weekends. I would start the coming week, spend two days helping the person who cleaned the stalls during the week, then be on my own for the weekend. Well, the working with another person did not happen. I started the weekend following my interview.

The Arabian barns I had been in prior, treated the horses as royalty. Spotless stalls, every need and want of the horse taken care of. When I started cleaning stalls, I stripped or removed all the shavings from the first six stalls. I could tell when he came to check on me, I did not meet a standard. I realized with just a look, I had cleaned the stalls too good. Upon discussion with him, I started doing a thorough pick cleaning of the rest of the stalls. They only do a strip cleaning once a week of each stall.

Due to my lack of condition in cleaning stalls, and my back injury, my husband started coming on the weekends, when he was done working to help me finish cleaning the stalls, barn and watering the horses. Soon the four of us would be standing in the aisle telling horse stories of achievement and defeat.

Each weekend, between them meeting and riding with clients and me cleaning stalls, we would have short discussions. They had retired from endurance riding, and most of their horses were clients’ horses who were retired from endurance riding, but still used for trail riding. But, this one young lady talked them into taking her on as a client for endurance riding. She was young, had just obtained a prestigious job placement, and was wanting to meet the challenge of endurance riding so she thought.

During one of our discussions, I had asked how this young lady was doing. Since I was only there on weekends, I did not know how often she came to work at her sport choice. Hank informed me she did not spend the time riding or being at the barn required of the sport endurance riding. The discussion turned to how when working with clients it is hard to motivate a person to ride and work hard to reach their goals, unless they are passionate about their goals.

“They do not believe they can get a homerun from a walk” Hank stated. I instantly was thinking how this could be achieved. He smiled giving the look, ‘you will think about it and figure it out one day’ as he walked away. I continued to finish my job, and figured out the possibility, it was possible, but I had never seen it done.

Yesterday, at Hank’s memorial service his son was doing the eulogy. Sharing some stories of how his father had coached him during the years he played baseball. He was not a very good batter, but was very good at stealing bases. His father had taught him how to take a hit from a pitch. During one game, he took his hit from the pitch and was given the walk to first base, only he always ran past first base, so the catcher threw the ball to second baseman. As he was sliding into second base, the second baseman missed the catch, the ball was in the outfield. He ran to third. The outfielder threw to third, and the third baseman missed the catch as he arrived at third base. His coach told him to run, and he ran to home plate scoring a run. He made a homerun on a walk.

Regardless of what a person wants to achieve in life, this statement holds true. Understand our individual strengths and weakness, use our strengths to the full potential, and work on our weaknesses to reach our goals. Never forget, with the proper work and training, when the situation arrives a homerun can be achieved from a walk.

There were many horse adventures shared, single line words of wisdom, lots of laughs and a friendship formed. Treasures I will always hold dear.

Thank you for hiring me, becoming a treasured friend.

In Honor of :

Henry “Hank” Olin Copeland, III

April 21, 1942 – September 6, 2023

amtolle

Happiness in Life

People desire to be happy, but few take the time to be happy. They are searching for happiness. Often happiness is equated with the amount of money a person has available to spend, the right vehicle or house. Happiness is not a tangible object we can hold and touch. Being happy is an emotion and a state of mind.

Events in life can bring forth happiness such as graduation, getting the dream job, a birth of a child, stirring up the emotion of being happy. Often short lived and quickly fading to other emotions.

My high school senior year English teacher stated to the class, “Happiness is a state of mind, a choice.” I had considered her statement with curiosity and the true meaning on if this statement was true.

Through the course of my life, I have learned her statement is true, happiness is a state of mind, and a choice. We can choose to be happy. Life events do not always bring happiness. The death of a family member causes us to go through grief and a period of sadness and emotional pain. The sudden loss of employment, resulting in stress and worry. There are a few who struggle with depression due to medical reasons or a life event. Our lives are intersected with many challenges, celebrations and disappointments, yet I choose to live a life in the state of being happy.

How does a person remain happy when life throws a “curve ball” into the well thought out plans? For me, it is to be focused on what is good in my life and at the moment. The first time my husband was laid off from his job, we had recently purchased our home and property, we were trying to get started in raising horses, and we had debts from before we were married. Our total income was suddenly stopped, with the one blessing of a severance package. We sold majority of the horses, cut out any unnecessary expenses, and he was looking for work. We did not know where we were even going to live, as his job search was taking a route of other places far from where we lived. I tend to worry, but instead I focused on the problem of cutting expenses and selling horses.

I could have gone down the deep dark hole of depression, as once again I was loosing my dream of raising horses. Instead I focused on how well the horses sold, knowing they were going to good homes. I focused on how well we were dealing with the situation as a couple by supporting and encouraging each other in this challenging period of our life. The most important thought was this will not last forever. These circumstances, this life changing event, would pass as it was not a permanent place we would be at. We both were working towards a change or a solution. He eventually was employed once more.

This particular life event was a life route changing event. I decided I was not ever going to raise horses as an income, although I enjoy doing so very much. That part or stage of my life was over. But I started raising sheep by “accident”. I enjoy raising sheep and the work involved. I still have a few riding horses, so I can still enjoy being with the horses, even though I am not raising horses.

Life will bring more changes into my path, as for one, the horses I currently own are getting older each year. My beloved dog companion, Bonnie Jo is in her last year or two of sharing life with me. I can focus on her problems, or I can enjoy her presence during our remaining time together.

A state of happiness is a choice of what you focus on, the problem or the everyday good things around you. The problems always feel like mountains in our road, but there is a pathway up and over the mountain if you look for it. Usually along the pathway over the mountain there are flowers to enjoy, breath taking views to see on the way to the top of accomplishment.

Each of us has the ability of making a choice.

amtollle

Celebrating First Year

Today, we celebrated the birthday of my daughter’s triplet boys. It is hard to believe they will be a year old tomorrow. They were so very small at just a few ounces over 4 pounds, large for premature triplets. The doctor did not let the triplets reach full term due to the hardship on the mother’s body causing complications for mother and babies.

From a mere 4 pounds they have grown into little boys who are happy, very active and different from each other. When they were born, they were so small and would move quickly, making it necessary to hold them a specific way to prevent dropping them. Most of those attending did not hold them when they were born, due to them being so small and appearing fragile. I was blessed with the opportunity to help the parents care for these small precious gifts, three adults each with one baby helps the feeding to progress faster. Today, I helped one of the boys each their lunch, watching they did not choke on the pizza and spoon feeding them baby food.

They crawl everywhere, stand up with the aide of the furniture or their walking toys. It will not be long before they are walking everywhere. Big Sister is learning to keep her bedroom door closed, so her brothers do not get into her small toys and put them in their mouths.

Big Sister has and is learning to adjust to her little brothers. She had been an only child until she was five years old. Instead of learning to share life with one sibling, she has had to adjust to the demands of three at once. A protective Big Sister she is, making sure to inform and watch anyone around her brothers to be careful. There will be more adjustments for her to make when her little brothers become more mobile and older. I know she will not like her brothers much when she becomes a teenager with her friends or wants to start dating. Can you imagine introducing a potential boyfriend to your parents and triplet brothers?

The house is full of baby things, three highchairs for feeding, three swings when they were smaller, three cribs. There is not only the three of every baby item needed for their care. There is three times the giggles, three sounds to say they are ready to eat, three mouths open for food with two parents to spoon the baby food to the waiting child. Three little ones to hold and love. No one was fighting over a chance to hold the birthday boy today, as there was three to share.

The years ahead will be fun as we experience their continued growth and the challenges of having triplets in the family. Having triplets is not like having three babies born, they have their own little ways of communicating seen since they were born and continuing now.

amtolle

Getting Back to “Normal”

With my little grandchildren back home and doing good, I am back to work. I have been getting the projects done for this year, with a new one added. We are changing our water filtration system with a new system that will only serve the house and not all the water. The livestock used hundreds of gallons of water a day. Removing the livestock water from the filtration system will save on filters and salt for the softener. I have found the time to start writing blogs once more. It could be said my life is getting back to “normal”.

What really is “normal”? Each day, each year things change. This year I had my grandchildren to care for full time for four months. Last year I spent two months with my daughter caring for my granddaughter during her pregnancy with triplets and their delivery. Then the years my husband was laid off. Everyone has felt the increase in inflation this year.

The cost of groceries and other items I have needed to adjust my monthly budget, removing some things we used to do such as eating out once a week. Others have had to make adjustments to their budgets and/or work due to changes in the cost of just living.

Many things affect our daily life. I no longer do the same activities I did when I was in my 20’s or 30’s. I no longer start young horses under saddle. Farm tasks take a little longer, and sometimes I have to find another way of doing things as I no longer have the strength to consistently lift 80 pounds and move it to another place. I can still lift 80 pounds, but to unload 100 bales of hay, each weighing 80 pounds like I did in years past takes three times longer and two Advil when the job is done.

As the world was coming out of the Covid-19 pandemic, hearing that life would get back to normal was a cliché phrase on the news. But have our lives really returned to normal? Some people still continue to wear masks. I enjoy the six feet separation when standing in line waiting for the cashier ( I like a large personal space bubble). There is still supply line issues in getting products to the store shelves.

Adjustments to our daily lives is made continuously. We adjust for the cost of good and availability of goods. We adjust for aging and what our bodies are able to perform. We adjust for family and friends. As we travel our journey on this earth we are always making adjustments and adapting for what is needed and what we are able to achieve.

I am caring for my sheep and my husband. Cleaning house. Doing laundry once a week instead of three times a week. My meals are smaller cooking for two. I am doing the farm projects and writing more consistently. Life is normal.

Our definition of ‘normal’ is always adjusting and adapting.

amtolle

Remembering 9-11

Each year people in the United States remember September 11, 2001. I remember what I was doing when I learned of the airplanes crashing into buildings, I was arriving at work as a waitress for the truck stop in our small town. My oldest son was at Air Force training school after being home for a few days following basic training. My other children were in school. I later learned a friend was on the airplane that went down in Pennsylvania.

There was a lot of anger from the people in the restaurant. My emotions were of concern and fear for my children, especially my oldest son. There was sorrow for the lives lost and for their families, loved ones and friends.

Today as I remember, my emotions are still for my children and grandchildren. September 11, 2001 told me and others in the United States we are not beyond being attacked by other countries or organizations. The safe protective bubble we thought we lived in was popped, and now we realize we are like all the other countries – vulnerable to attack by governments or organizations for whatever reason.

People had a lot of emotions on the day the airplanes were hijacked and sent into buildings. Today, people still have strong emotions. I have always liked the song Alan Jackson wrote right after the tragedy.

Perhaps, I am just a simple country girl.

amtolle

Silver Linings

My husband, children and most people who know me will tell you I always seem to find the good in a situation. Currently the area I live in is in a drought, no rain for months. I can not let me sheep graze in the pasture, instead the sheep are kept off the pasture and fed hay along with some grain. Feeding hay and grain all spring and summer is a big added expense to my sheep farm business. The limited amount of green on the place is from the overflowing of water troughs and a few areas I run the sprinkler at night. I overflow the water troughs to freshen the water and cool the water temperature down for a little while.

Although I do not have any grass growing, I do not have any weeds growing either. I use regenerative farming practices in the care of my pasture and garden. Instead of using a herbicide to spray the weeds, I mow the weeds before they bloom to create seeds. This year I have only mowed the pasture once. A savings of fuel cost and time.

The positive side is my sheep have proved to me they can survive and thrive in the heat and with little feed, as the breed was developed to with stand the harsh grazing conditions of South Africa.

Laundry and dishes are washed at night, the appliances add too much heat to the house during the day. Cooking is done outside on a Bar BQ grill. Although recently, I have wondered if we really need to light the grill to cook the meat with the temperatures over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

I have more birds around my house, since their water source of the nearby ponds have dried up. All living things need water. The chickadees, finches and cardinals seem to love playing in the sprinkler when it is going.

Completing tasks outside take much longer, as I need to come into the house for water and too cool off. There have been a few times I have heat stressed a little this summer. The water going in comes out just as fast when I step outside to work. Currently as I am writing this blog the outside temperature is 105 degrees Fahrenheit but feels like 109. There are probably very few toxins in my body with all the sweating I do during the day, creating a healthier body without the expense of a sauna.

I have worked in this type of heat and drought conditions in 2011 when we purchased our property. I was building fences in 108 degree temperature and the neighbor was worried I was going to die from heat stroke.

Although it is very hot today, autumn will be here soon, the temperatures will cool as winter approaches. Then everyone will complain how cold it is.

amtolle