What They See, What is Truth

Bloganuary Prompt for Day #19: What color describes your personality and why?

In looking at the personality color wheel, people would think I was yellow and green. I am motivated, enthusiastic in what I am doing, cheering everyone to join me in the task. I talk to those I see as if I know no strangers. I encourage others and inspire them to be the best that they can be. I appear to be an extrovert with a sunny and bubbly personality. I put forth what I want people to see me as.

The truth, I am a serious introvert. I prefer to be alone, and away from people. I am extremely logical and analytical even in my social interactions. Everything and all interactions are thought through, analyzed and put into a logical order. All my social interactions, I have learned. Being social is not easy, my mind does not recognize if someone is mad, happy or sad. I have taught myself what those expressions are and what they mean. When I see a new expression, I have to learn by asking questions to determine which emotion the person is exhibiting, then commit the expression to memory.

Those who are around me at the sheep sales and my co-workers think I am a happy person, always sunshine, and can see the best in any situation. The truth, I fight depression on a daily basis. Every day, all day, I fight off the depression that wants to creep in and stop me from doing anything. I force myself to be motivated, to keep going, and to see the sunshine in each day.

Life experience has taught me not to trust people. Just like myself, people put on a mask, a front to hide what they truly feel.

I appear to be sunflowers, sunshine, birds singing and butterflies. What is truly there is twilight, stillness and quiet, with sometimes rain.

amtolle