“Rub My Back, Please”

Since the end of August I have been at my daughter’s home caring for my granddaughter, then when the babies came home, helping with the babies. While at my daughter’s I slept on the bottom bunk with my granddaughter. She enjoys sleeping with Granny, and Granny rubbing her back until she goes to sleep.

Change is hard for all of us, but especially for those who are little children. When I went to stay at my daughter’s home, my daughter had been admitted into the hospital. The first time my granddaughter had been without her parents. It was a strange time for her, unsettling and insecure. I would lay down with her at night, rub her back and she would go to sleep, in the comfort that Granny was there with her. This soon became a routine.

When the babies came home, I continued with the routine of sleeping with my granddaughter, as well as getting up to help feed babies. Feeding goes much faster if three people are feeding three babies, than if there are two people feeding three babies.

My oldest daughter came down to visit and help with the babies. When I was leaving, my granddaughter made a statement that her aunt could sleep with her and rub her back. Her mom quickly told her that Granny was the only one going to rub her back. It is something that Granny does, not everyone else.

I was told I had spoiled my granddaughter, not a bad thing. She had learned to go to sleep on her own, and that she was of the age she can do so. I am allowed to spoil her, as being a Granny allows for those spoiling moments. Me rubbing her back was a special thing that she shares with Granny and no one else.

Change at times is hard. For my granddaughter being the only child for five years and wanting a sibling, she was eager for the addition. When the three little brothers arrived, small and frail compared to her imagine of siblings she could teach to slide and swing, change was hard. She is not allowed to hold them yet. They are not able to slide or swing. Her words, “They just sleep and eat, they do not go anywhere.” She is happy to have siblings, but misses the attention she once received.

Granny sleeping with her and rubbing her back for comfort and security when mom and dad were in the hospital, transferred to attention and feeling special once the siblings arrived.

The babies are doing well, growing and soon she will be able to interact with them more. In a year or two they will be best friends and constant companions. But now, change is hard being on the sidelines only able to observe and not really participate. Her parents are great, and do help her during this time.

There will always be that special memory of Granny helping, and rubbing her back. Will rubbing her back go away, absolutely not. That is a special bond between Granny and granddaughter that will remain.

amtolle