update – Me, Myself and I

A life ever changing, a changing life. We are face with challenges and seasons every year, month and day. Strength is gained in challenges. We learn from successes and failures, if we choose to.

Working forty hours per week as posed a challenge to getting other things done. I am glad I participated in Bloganuary again this year. I missed a few daily prompts. I am still trying to read what others wrote in response to the daily Bloganuary prompts. I have lesson time to write, therefore the book I am writing is taking longer, but progress is being made. My goal is to have my first book published this year. I think I will get this goal accomplished.

The You Tube channel my husband and I are starting is still a work in progress. First lesson, it is hard to video with a phone and work the sheep. Second, my phone does not seem to have enough memory for very long videos. Solution, we purchased a video camera we are learning how to operate. There is learning involved in creating an interesting video. We video, watch the video, see our mistakes in recording and video again. My husband and I are having fun working on this project together.

The sheep farm is doing well. Most of our ewes have lambs by their sides. The lambs are growing well. We are close to weaning of the first lambs that were born. The young ewes coming a year old this spring are with a ram. In four to five months there will be some more lambs being born. The two nanny goats we have are getting ready to have their first kids. We sold some older lambs and did well. Hit a day the market was high for selling lambs. We have a few ewes and lambs from this latest group of lambs to be sold in a month. There is a Dorper Sheep show and sale in April we are planning on showing a few of our sheep.

Planting time is around the corner. The garden area is being prepared for plants and seeds. This week I will be starting some plants for future planting. The garden will be larger this year. Part of the reason is there are areas on the farm that needs to have something planted in order to keep the topsoil in place and developing the soil to provide a good grazing area for the sheep. In these grazing areas we will be planting radishes, sugar beets, peas, carrots and other vegetables the sheep enjoy eating. The planting will improve the soil, and provide the sheep with a treat to graze in the summer months.

There are a couple of other projects that we are starting with hopes we can produce an income from these projects. Keep an eye out for the launch of these new projects as well as our You Tube channel.

amtolle

We make decisions daily, most are not major and have no major consequences or actions following the decision.

Late last night, actually at 2 AM today my time, I made a decision and posted “Decisions Are Made”, not realizing the events that would follow. I was expressing a decision concerning my adoption and the reasons for choosing not to pursue finding my biological family. There would be events from me posting my thoughts and decision on my adoption that I could not even dream up.

I appreciate all the comments and words I have received on the post “Decisions Are Made”. I appreciate those who follow my blog, and those I do not know who read my postings. A surprise greeted me this morning at approximately 9:30 AM with a phone call from one of my followers I was unaware of, the sister I was raised with.

When my sister called me, which is very rare, mostly we communicate through text messages, which is great as we are both busy people. I thought her call was to bring me bad news, the kind of news about family no one wants to hear. Instead, she wanted to talk about my blog post. She follows my blog, a happy surprise for me.

God does work in mysterious ways. We both knew one of us two girls had to be adopted. Sisters can not be 19 weeks apart in age, and both be born from the same biological mother. She had heard whispered rumors I was adopted, not a big deal. Last week, she ran into an person who our dad worked for and some how in the conversation came up about our dad adopting two children. My sister figured I was adopted, but the person insisted there were two children adopted. Then she reads my blog post “Decisions Are Made” at 4 AM in the morning of posting. She could not sleep, so she read my blog.

In the phone conversation she wanted to know what I knew about our adoptions. Who told me what. What was said. How I obtained my adoptions records. Where I had researched to learn of my biological parents.

I told her she was adopted first as a premature infant. Our mother’s mom, a nurse, was at her birth. I was adopted later at thirteen months of age. Our mom and dad fought over my adoption, my dad insisted, my mom did not want to adopt me. Raising two young children only 19 weeks apart in age with one being a preemie, would be a lot of work. Being the mother of four, with two girls 17 months apart, I can understand the reluctance of my mother concerning my adoption. Plus, I was not an infant.

I let her know our brothers who are natural children, both know of our adoptions. Our brothers had told my husband of my children I was adopted. She might want to start there since one of our brothers still lives in the same town.

I also told her of when I knew I was adopted and tried to get our mom to tell me. Mom was not going to ever tell me I was adopted, even though I let her know I was. Letting her know there may be some reluctance from our brothers to discuss the subject.

Many followers wonder why we were not told of our adoptions by family members or our parents. Talking to several family members, the younger ones were swore to secrecy with “beating until death” if they ever mentioned to us about being adopted. It was a very strict rule of silence within both sides of the family to never, ever under any circumstances reveal to either one of us about being adopted. Do not judge our family as these rules were held in place.

Every family has secrets, things that are spoken in whispers or not spoken of at all. This rule of silence was enforced so strongly, my cousin M who was the first family member to tell me, still feels badly about breaking this rule of silence even today.

My sister, 19 weeks younger than myself, for the first time learned she was adopted as well. My sister is wanting to find her biological parents and family. I wish her all the best. I know she will meet roadblocks trying to find information. I know there will be emotions on meeting the biological family. I am excited for her.

I am glad the light has finally shined on a this deeply hidden truth in our family. That was not the intent of my writing the post “Decisions Are Made”. I knew in the 1990’s I was adopted from the words of my husband at the time sharing that my brothers told him I was adopted. I put the information on a shelf. The information collected dust for many years. Then at the age of 48, I decided to dust off the information and see what I could find. On and off I have done research to find my biological parents. The recent research I have decide to end the searching. I was bringing a closure to the my search for biological parents. I am still writing a novel about the unwed homes and adoptions with a hint of my biological parents.

Yes, a white rose bush is so fitting for the remembrance of my adoption and biological parents.

amtolle

Tag: update

February Update of 2024

Update to “Decisions Are Made”