Today, while cleaning out cabinets, I found Bonnie Jo’s rope. Sadness hit me straight away. We played with that rope since she was a puppy. She was easy on her toy. In her later years, she did not want to play very often, but I kept the rope in the cabinet with the dog brushes.
With grief and depression, you can feel you are at the bottom of a range of huge mountains, and the only way out is to climb a mountain. Speaking from experience, mountains are hard to climb, both geological mountains and grief and depression. The first thing a person needs is tools to assist in the climbing of the mountain. Geological mountains may require a good set of climbing boots, a climbing stick, and the more challenging mountains, hooks, ropes and other climbing equipment. Mountains of grief are no different. The first thing a person needs to start climbing the mountain, is to realize they are experiencing grief and/or depression. You can not climb a mountain, until you see and know the mountain is there.
When I lived in Colorado, I spent a lot of time in the area mountains, riding horseback and hiking up and down the terrain, enjoying the beauty around me. I would see a mountain, and wonder what the view from the other side looked like or I knew what was on the other side and wanted to get there. I saw the mountain, then I made a decision to climb the mountain. To move through grief and/or depression, a decision has to be made in order to take that first step.
Any mountain or place you wish to see, the journey begins with the first step. Sometimes that first step is hard to take, as you look up the mountain the journey seems long and doughty, there are so many steps that have to be taken to get to the top. Once the first step is taken, the climb is one step at a time. You can not rush climbing the mountain, as it is always one step at a time, even when climbing Mount Everest.
Sometimes along our journey, we need some assistance, we can get lost in the trees along our path to the top. Or, the terrain is steep and difficult to negotiate with the aide of another person. At these time, we need a guide. I have had guides, people who are familiar with the terrain and trails I needed to travel to reach my destination, and on a few occasions I was the guide. There is no shame in having a guide assist you in the journey to the top. Climbing Mount Everest requires a very experienced guide, to show the trail, but to also assist with the actual climbing of the mountain.
The past few months, I and other family members have had a guide to assist us with negotiating the journey through the trauma and grief of this past year. There is no shame in having a person to listen to your feelings, someone who will not judge you for being angry, sad, or even happy when most would say you should be sad. To climb a mountain begins with the decision to see a better view, and the first step.
Do not wait to take the step, to stay and let feelings of anger and depression build to the point you want to destroy yourself, and all those around you. My son-in-law did not want to accept change. Being in the house, we noticed he had loaded a gun, and unloaded it many times, bullets were scarred by being put into and taken out of the magazine. When the mountain became so large from choices he had made, he took a final step and destroyed himself. Sure, he does not have to deal with the trauma and emotions, or the legal ramifications of his decision, those living have to deal. My daughter had spoke to and encouraged him to get help, but those who are depressed also have to want to be helped. Why did he not get help, we do not know.
In settling the estate and legal matters concerning his death, which were a separate mountain on its own. My daughter says she moved that mountain a grain of sand at a time. She handled and dealt with each task, one at a time, with prayer. Today, the majority of the legal mountain is behind her, only a grain or two of sand left to deal with.
And together we are helping and encouraging each other to continue to climb the emotional mountains in our lives due to the tragedy. With help from professionals, support from each other, and our Creator, we will one day reach the top and see the view beyond April 26, 2024.
amtolle
Me, Myself and I 