Category: Bloganaury 2024

My Mission at this Time

Daily writing prompt
What is your mission?
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During my years of living, I have had several missions in life. When I was raising my children at home, my mission was to be a good mother, provide a safe home for them. As time moves forward, my children are grown, making their own way in life, with their own families. At one point in my life, my mission was to find out who I am. Now most do this discovery when they are much younger than in their fifties. Currently, I am a wife so I do have a mission to be a very good wife. I am also a sheep farmer, and I work hard learning and caring for my sheep. My mission at this time is to show kindness to those around me.

I work with the public five days a week. People of various ages, stages in life, careers, income cross my path these five days a week. When they cross my path, I want them to see a smile. I deliver a kind greeting. And there are times I ask if I can help them find something they are looking for.

Several of these people are in their later years, their spouses are no longer with them. They are home alone most days, children and grandchildren rarely visit. They come to the store everyday at the same time each day, to see and hear people. These people enjoy the friendly hello and a smile, letting them know they are seen and not invisible.

Sometimes it is a tired mother, with their children after work, on the way home. Looking for something to fix for dinner, with children wanting everything in sight as they are hungry. A smile, a hello, and a invite to help them find something is a relief, as their mind can not focus on more than the children with their many voices and directions of travel.

Which ever the person is, what ever they may be looking for or doing, sometimes all they need is a smile and to be seen, to have a better day.

Kindness comes in many forms. I do not see much kindness in the world I live in today. People hunger for kindness, even if it is just a friendly smile.

amtolle

A Long Life

Daily writing prompt
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
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I would first have to ask, “How many years makes a long life?” At the writing of this post, I am sixty years old. Colleagues I work with have a hard time believing I am sixty years old. They have a more difficulty grasping the fact I have grandchildren the same age as they are. With the exception of one employee, I am older than anyone else I work with. The one employee older than myself, she graduated from high school when I was two years old.

Yet, I do not feel “old” or even act “old”. But then I have not been sixty years old before, therefore I am not sure how a sixty year old is to act or feel. I still have dreams and plans for my future. I am training in a new career. I raise registered Dorper sheep, and have hopes of one day showing one to Grand Champion. I attempted to show my first sheep last year, but a family situation kept me busy watching the grandchildren while my husband showed the sheep.

I do chores everyday. I work a job every week. I am still able to lift 80 pounds and place it on a shelf at work. I lift more weight than those much younger than myself. I dance when the right music comes on. I play with the dogs, ride horses and joke around. I do not give a thought to how old I am. I think about what I want to do.

Two young colleagues were talking at work yesterday. One was asking the other about me, since she has worked there longer. The second responded she has done many interesting things in her life, and yes she is the age she says she is. While exiting for the day, the first colleague ask how come she has not seen me there working except on when the truck arrives and we have to put product on the shelves. I said I work the in the meat department, two days a week, in the cold room where no one wants to go and the two truck days, and will be working with the receiving manager, but I can cashier, work frozen, produce areas as well.

The colleague then asked, “Are you really 60 years old?” My reply, “Yes, I was born in 1963.” The colleague responded, ” You do not look sixty. And you do not act 60.” My thoughts were how was a 60 year old supposed to act?

We left work laughing about the fact I am called “Crazy Granny” by my grandchildren because I do not act like a grandmother, I am way to funny and silly.

I do not think it is the number of years a person lives that are important. We are all going to die. Death can meet us as we cross the street, or drive an automobile. Tornados and lightening strike. There are many ways to meet death. I focus on the quality of each day I live. I strive to show kindness to others. I am not afraid to try new things, have new experiences or see things besides in a photo. Each day is the opportunity to learn, to share, to experience, but mostly to live. When I do meet death, I want it to be doing something I am enjoying or in my sleep waiting for the next exciting day.

amtolle

What Could I do Differently?

Daily writing prompt
What could you do differently?
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An interesting and thought provoking question for sure. A person must first assume that something needs to change in my life and or the way I do things. Since there is always room for personal growth towards being a better person, there are some things that I could do differently.

At the beginning of each New Year, some people make resolutions for changes in their lives. I do make resolutions, but not resolutions that are going to be given up on within the next month or two, such as losing weight. I look at changes I can make in my life to be a better person, a better wife, mother, friend, and grandmother.

I reflect on how I want to spend my time. I have accepted the fact I am not going to live forever, I am six decades old. So what do I want to do now, before I too much time slips away or age makes it difficult or impossible for me to accomplish.

Should a person wait until my age to have such thoughts about changes in their life? Is it wise to always wait until we finish our education, obtain that perfect job or career, have a certain amount of money or any other goal for the perfect time to make changes in ourselves or how we spend our time. Looking back through my past, there was a lot of time wasted doing other things instead of using that time with my children and family. So busy chasing the perfect job that would allow me to be able to spend more time, and never arriving with the perfect job that would all more time to be spent with my children. Time moves on, we can not stop time while we try to achieve our goals, before we spend time with those we love. Each year, month, week and day, I plan time to share with those I love.

What would I do differently, I would spend more time with my family doing fun and memorable activities with them. A person can not buy time or get more time or take time back. Time just moves on regardless of ourselves.

amtolle

A Billboard

Daily writing prompt
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
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A freeway billboard….hmmm what would it say? Simple, I am a sheep farmer, I raise sheep to sell for an income.

GRANNY’S HOMESTEAD

All Naturally Raised Dorper Sheep

Breeding Stock and Market Animals

For Sale

Every business needs to advertise. We are in the process of increasing our social image with the hopes of increasing our sales.

I do have another blog, Granny’s Homestead, that I write on concerning the care of sheep, business and thought provoking ideas for a sheep farmer. I also share what I am doing on the farm.

amtolle

Future, Past and Present

Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
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Considering the number of decades I have lived, I do focus on the future, past and present. There are times I focus on the past and the fond memories of my children and grandchildren, most commonly done when going through pictures. Recently I needed to create more storage on my cell phone for pictures. Upon transferring the photos to my computer I discovered there were 974 pictures and all were of my grandchildren.

The photos show that at the time I was very much in the present moment. By taking a photo I was able to freeze that present moment for future seeing, remembering and feeling what the event and day was like.

There was a time I focused on the past, an unhappy past, as I was trying to gain some control over the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was only by focusing backwards I could improve my present and future. I still deal with the varied symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but the symptoms no longer control my present.

The future is always ahead of us, and some thought and plans need to be done to keep my life going or to prepare for events that will happen in the future. I may not know the date, time or place, but death will arrive. I am in the process of planning events of my death. I know it will be a very difficult time for my children and grandchildren. I want to make the decisions so they will not have to during their time of distress and sorrow, taking the burden off their shoulders.

There are times as a person we need to focus on the past, always be in the present and make some plans for the future. Dealing or being totally absorbed my a certain period of time is not good as we lose balance in our daily life. Balance is the key to living life to the fullest and enjoying the time we share together with others.

amtolle

The Greatest Gift

Daily writing prompt
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
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Appearance of a simple question, requiring an answer of much depth. If I were to consider my current situation of being a person of years, limited income possibilities with facing financial challenges, the answer would be as fleeting as the gift – money. More specifically, I could live my ending years with a simple million dollars.

The answer is a material, fleeting answer with the possibility of not solving any problems or creating personal growth. Much of our lives we associate a gift with a material object, something we can see and touch. An example is the holiday a majority of people celebrated with the exchanging of gifts. I also participated in the holiday exchange of gifts to family members, searching for or creating the most appropriate and useful gift for the receiver. The receiver knowing that love and time went into each gift, not some random picking from a shelf or online store. Thoughtfully a selection was made of what they would like and use, time searching or creating, and beautifully wrapped in love.

Through the decades of life, I have spoken and interacted with thousands of people from various walks of life, some rich, some very poor, and others struggling. The gift each person really desired to receive was acknowledgement of being there, a person or simply being seen. Someone to listen to their words, not hear, truly listen without criticism or judgement. Although they are different, to be accepted for who they are, not agreeing with or patronizing, just simple acceptance they are a person who feels, sees, hears and has their own thoughts. All of this takes time from the one who sees, listens and accepts.

The answer to the question is not a simple one word answer, but a heart searching, thought provoking and examination of one’s self to provide the answer. In a world where everyone is trained to be focused on the desires, needs and wants of self, without thought of those around us. Perhaps the best answer is to be from being the giver instead of the receiver.

What is the greatest gift I can give to you? Only then we will have received the greatest gift.

amtolle

Colleges and Life

Daily writing prompt
What colleges have you attended?
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I have attended colleges, several to by truthful. From my earliest memories I have desired to be a veterinarian. But life sometimes gets in the way of our best laid out plans. I would eventually go to college, but never to become a veterinarian.

First college, two years out of high school, going through a divorce with a small child, I attended college for a year with the goal of becoming a CPA. The college was local, and small. The needs of working to support my child and myself was more important, or so I thought at the time, than going to college. I did not have the time to attend classes and work a job and be home to care for my young son.

It would be several years later, my second marriage and three more children before I would walk onto a college campus for classes. This time the goal was to become a school teacher. I truly enjoy teaching children and youth. I had been teaching horsemanship clinics to youth and riding lessons for three years. Before deciding to become a teacher, I had also worked in the schools as a special needs teacher assistant. I love teaching children, and still do. I enrolled in the two year college outside of town that had a special program to provide instruction for people wanting to become teachers due to the lack of teachers in our area. I was never allowed into the special program that would have paid for my tuition, but they could not deny me the classes. I decided to enroll in Regis University program of education, with online classes and the University accepting the credits I obtained from the other college program. At one point I was attending two physical campus for the small college and doing online classes from Regis University carrying a load of 18 to 21 credits per semester.

But once again changes in life got in the way of my continuing to learn, but not without me graduating with two Associates Degrees, one in Science and one in Fine Arts.

Later, I would attend another online University to get a degree to teach preschool and kindergarten in the state of New Mexico.

Life has taught me many lessons and how to do many things. In my life so far I have been a certified horse trainer and riding instructor, managed stores and fast food restaurants, raised and shown horses, been office manager for a trucking company with 125 drivers, drove a semi truck, a dump truck, and currently I am a sheep farmer learning to become a certified butcher.

I still love to teach children. I teach various and interesting subjects to my fifteen grandchildren. I train employees who come to work at the store where I work. Most of these new employees are the age of my oldest grandchildren.

Will I ever return to college to finish a degree I started? No, I am beyond the years of being able to use the degree and license to teach in schools. The expense of finishing the degree would never be repaid in the years I would be able to work.

Do I regret never finishing my college education? No, my children needed me more. I needed to be there, spend the time with them in their early years. Three of my four children have gone to college and earned their degrees and work in those fields. One child learned a trade, and is very good at what they do.

College is not for everyone. College is a stepping stone to reach a goal in life. But college is not the only pathway to a fulfilling and prosperous career. My greatest joy, and where I was in constant demand was when I was teaching horsemanship clinics to youth and to my children.

amtolle