One benefit to having lived a few decades is experience. I have worked under and for many people. I have my list of good qualities in a leader and those qualities that make a leader bad. Experience has shown me that a good leader can become a bad leader and a bad leader can become a good leader.
What makes a good leader? In my opinion a good leader has several qualities that determine if they are good or bad as a leader. Depending on how these qualities are managed determines if they are good or bad, or perhaps in between.
A good leader has and shows confidence. Not to be interpreted the leader knows all information. A good leader will allow those who know the information to do the task, and learn from the experience. Being honest with themselves and with those around them, acknowledging there are areas they themselves still need to acquire knowledge and experience.
A good leader is willing to make a decision and responsibly accept the consequences of the decision made. There is no scapegoat built into the plan or decisions they make. Often a leader has to make a decision quickly and under pressure. Not all plans or decisions work out perfectly, as we are only humans and will make mistakes or less than perfect choices. A leader realizes the imperfection and is honest to admit when they make a mistake and/or the task was not completed with perfection.
A good leader will evaluate their team members as to their abilities and strengths. Delegation of tasks will be determined by the skills of each person. As a team they are strong, but divided the team is a disaster. Creating a team that wants to work together benefits everyone. Being the leader, it is easy to take credit for all the work done well. A good leader gives credit to those who worked with them on a project done well.
Leadership is a hard task. Being a good leader requires confidence, honesty, decision making under pressure, understanding team members and clear assessment of skills, with motivation for everyone to work together for the desired results. A broad description of a good leader, with many micro skills involved to achieve gaining the trust of those working with them and willingness to perform to their best abilities.
We have seen or been with leaders who were not so perfect in their skills of leadership, or horrible leaders. I have seen good leaders evolve into bad leaders. I have also worked with bad leaders who evolved with work to become good leaders.
At first thought, technology would be something to un-invent. But that is wrong. Technology allows for me to sit at home, write a blog, and people anywhere in the world can read my words and hear my thoughts. Technology led to the cell phone with the many applications that allow me to see my grandchildren and talk to them in real time. There are many benefits of technology.
But what makes me think technology is bad is how society has become a very non-personal place. When I go out to eat at a restaurant I see families sitting together for a meal, but each person looking at a cellphone playing games or viewing a video. There is not family talking or interaction when they do have the opportunity to sit down together. At work, communication is through emails, not face to face. We are becoming a world where we do not know our neighbors or family members.
I do not think technology is to blame. People are to blame for allowing technology to consume their time. Technology can be a very useful tool in communication, but feelings and thoughts are not always sent with the words. It is up to us as individuals and families to keep technology as a tool and not an addiction. It is not always necessary to see the latest item your friend ate, while sitting at a festival meal with family members. We create distance when sitting next to a person with our mind and thoughts when we allow technology to steal the moment from us.
Yes, I enjoy technology. The ability to see and hear my grandchildren grow up when they live thousands of mile away. Technology closes the gap of space. I have made a choice to not let it consume my time or take the place of person to person interaction.
As to an answer of what I would un-invent, I have no answer.
Childhood was not an easy or pleasant experience for me. One parent loved me the other did not. Whenever our family would have time for a vacation, it was always somewhere my mother could go fishing. On these trips, my dad would do the cooking and care for us four children so mom could just fish.
I loved these times with my dad. Most of the time my dad was working long hours and we could not spend much time with him. My mom was not fond of me, and she let that be known to me. On these once a year trips, I would get to be with the one who loved me. He would teach me about the animals around us, how to read tracks. We would discuss flowers and rocks. Listen to the wind in the pines trees or the noisy chatter of chipmunks. At night there were stories around the campfire, or learning the constellations of the stars in the bright night sky. There were times, he would have all of us children fish a great distance from my mom so as to not interfere with her relaxation. He taught us how to bait a hook and where to find the fish.
My love of the outdoors comes from the love my dad showed me as a child in the surroundings we were in. Sometimes it was mountains, sometimes in the desert on a river bank. Where ever we were fishing, he would take the time to show me the nature around me.
As I became older, had children, I shared this love for the outdoors and all its’ wonder with my children. We star gazed, studied insects sometimes just from our own yard. Now I share these wonders with my grand children. In these places sharing and learning things about nature and animals, they feel loved as well.
There are various types of clutter in our lives. I have seen television shows of people who hoard material possessions to the point there is not room for themselves in their own house. Three years ago, I decided I needed to organize and declutter my home. I watched the Netflix series “Tiding Up”. Interesting concepts of creating a home with joy, peace and harmony. I started the process of going through my home and only keeping those things that brought me and my husband joy. Our moods changed. We were happy to be home. We enjoyed the organization and ability to find what we were needing at the time we needed it. Since “Tiding Up” our home, I work at keeping our home decluttered in order to maintain joy and harmony.
This past month, I realized there is another way our lives get cluttered – mental and emotional clutter. I do not care for drama and unnecessary stress in my life. Yet, recently there has been a lot of unnecessary stress. The source of this unnecessary stress is my job away from the farm. I enjoy working in the meat market at the local grocery store. It is not a big store, but I get a few days a week working in the meat department. I started training to become a meat cutter, but the training is slow due to the store being small. So, to be able to work more hours, I was scheduled to work the days when the delivery truck arrived placing product on the shelves.
Then in the middle of December I got what I thought was a big opportunity, to work in place of the meat cutter/department manager in a nearby town. There is only one person working in the meat market in this even smaller store. The day was frustrating for me. Upon arrival, I was not greeted warmly as they did not know the regular person was not going to show up for work and there would be a replacement. Second, when I am being paid I need to be productive. There was no chicken product for me to tray and place on the shelf. I did some meat cutting of small steaks waiting for their delivery truck to arrive. Once it arrived, I checked in the order then put the product in the proper storage areas. Next I was to get the rest of the required meat products on the shelf for customers, only some of the product I needed did not arrive on the truck. The product was not ordered. Third, the person I was substituting for was my store manager’s sister.
After this day of working at another store, my store manager started making requests for a list of what I cut and prepared to go on the shelf each day I worked in the meat department. I thought this was information for my graduation to full fledge meat cutter. I learned it was only for her benefit. I was told to only work the hours I was scheduled. If I went over in the meat department, the hours worked for the store would have to be shorter. I was placed in training with the receiving scan clerk to be a substitute if this person was unable to come to work. Ok, I will learn a new area in the store as I had previous experience of this type from other jobs.
But my joy of working is the meat department. I do not know why I really enjoy the meat department with the cold humid atmosphere, but I do . I spent decades looking at numbers on a computer screen in a small office. The office for the receiving clerk is a closet – literally was a closet transformed into an office barely enough room for one person. I like working with the meat, creating a product the consumer wants to buy for dinner. There is a challenge to making such creations. People like to buy product they can see as appetizing.
These actions were creating a mental clutter mess in my mind causing interference with the projects and work I needed to be doing on the sheep farm. So, I started looking for another job. Someplace else to work without the unnecessary mental clutter.
Tuesday, I was to be working the final week of training with the receiving clerk when I received a text message from the store manager stating I was to help with the truck delivery and to breakdown the load. What does it mean to breakdown a load? The delivery of grocery items comes in cases or lots of some many of that item in a box. The boxes are placed on 4 foot X 4 foot pallets and stacked 5 to 6 feet tall. When the pallets are unloaded from the truck, a person starts placing the boxes on carts, a cart per aisle, so others can put the product on the shelf where it belongs. While the boxes are over fifty pounds, most are five to twenty pounds, there are many of them. Not too bad of a task for a young person, but I am sixty years old, no spring chicken. At the end of breaking down the delivery my muscles felt like I had done first day of basic training for the military. My muscles were angry. I decided I had enough of the work at this store, yet I still wanted to be a meat cutter.
So, on a whim, not really believing anything would happen, I called the district supervisor of the meat markets. I asked if I could transfer to another store. He said he was working in me getting more training in a different store. I informed him I was going to quit. He wanted to know why, and I told him about having to account for time in the meat market, the training as a receiver clerk while others were scheduled to work the meat department, and ended with how I broke down the truck that day. He said he would find me a place, and he would talk with the district store supervisor about the transfer.
In twenty-four hours after handing in a resignation letter, the two district supervisors worked out a place for me to work and the transfer. I start with the new team at a different store next week.
I needed to make a change in order to declutter my mind and relieve the stress so I could have joy and harmony in my life once more. Making decisions that allow the decluttering of the mind and emotions are hard. I have to work a job in order to pay all our bills. Yet, I decided for my health and well being there had to be a change. We are responsible for our health and well being.
Anyone and everyone who knows me can answer the question of what is my favorite animal. If you have just started reading my blog, the answer lies within a majority of the blogs. From a very early age, the first recorded image of me with my favorite animal was before I was two years old, when I was first brought home for adoption. This animal is more than my favorite, it is my passion. The horse of course.
Since I can remember, and by family stories, I have always possess a way with and a love for animals. At the tender age of three, I captured my first pet, a kitty cat. I had gone to the trash landfill with my dad and seen this kitty cat. I asked my dad if I could take the kitty cat home. His answer, “If you can catch the kitty, you can keep the kitty.” He set about transitioning our trash to the landfill, I set about capturing a very wild kitty cat. Before he was done with his task, I had accomplished mine, showing him a growling up happy kitty cat that for some reason never scratched or bit me. My dad was surprised by my accomplishment, and a man who kept his word, we came home with an angry kitty cat in the car. A couple of years later, we were moving to a different state and new home, my mom would not allow me to bring my kitty cat with us. I lost my companion who slept on my pillow with me each night. I have never formed a strong relationship with a cat since. I think somehow the event taught me not to develop a relationship with an animal you are going to lose.
Horses caught my imagination and my heart at an early age. The first ride bareback on the big white gelding my father owned when they first brought me home ignited a spark that would stay lite my whole lifetime. I am adopted, and was brought to my adopted home at about 13 months of age. My dad sold the white gelding a year or two later as the horse became unpredictable and dangerous to people. My dad attributed it to a brain tumor in the horse and disclosed this thought when he sold the horse, although it was not confirmed by a vet.
The next horse to enter my life, I was four years old. One morning I woke up, and looking at me through my bedroom window, was a brown horse. My dad had purchased two horses for hunting season, a brown mare and a buckskin gelding. Instantly, I was in love with the brown mare. She was not very tall, and after my dad rode her, he deemed she was safe for me to sit on while he lead her around the yard. After hunting season, dad sold the buckskin, but kept the brown mare as he could see I really loved her and had named her Tammy. Soon I was riding Tammy around the yard. One day, I am not sure what I did, but Tammy moved in a slow gallop. The gently rocking motion of the gait was pleasant and freeing to this little girl trying to adjust.
Everyone thinks that being adopted is a wonderful event, as the people who adopt have chosen a child to raise. That is not always the true situation. My adoptive parents were unable to have children, and decided to adopt. First, my adopted sister, although a 19 weeks younger, was adopted at birth. Somehow, my dad learned of me being available for adoption. He and my mother fought about adopting me. Dad wanted me and my mother did not.
Dad worked long hours and sometimes away from home during the week, only to be home on weekends. My mother was not always friendly or truthful to me. Although she never physically abused me or neglected me, she was not loving nurturing mother a child should have. I desired to know I was loved and accepted from my mother, when I did not receive what I needed from her, I turned to the horse. I would day dream and fantasize about the lovely animal who would love and accept me for who I was. I watch television shows, mostly westerns, not see the plot, but to watch the horses. I read every book I could find on horses, fiction and non-fiction. I would walk up to any horse I came near, often to my father’s worry I would get hurt. My main conversation topic, horses. I would almost be out of high school before I learned that not everyone wants to talk about horses. Even today, I have to be careful when the topic of horses enters a conversation, as I can go on forever talking about this wonderful animal the impact in my life they have brought.
Eventually we moved to a place where my dad could once again buy and keep a horse, for me to be around. At age nine I brokered the deal to buy my very first horse, one that would be mine. Sure, I traded hay bales from our farm for the four month old bay colt to my fourth grade teacher, and my dad taught me my first lesson in buying a horse. Do not agree to purchase a horse until you have seen the animal first. Ok, so to her horse ranch we went. My teacher and her parents had a horse ranch, raising, training and selling Appaloosas and Quarter Horses. I was in amazement with the various pens and pastures filled with horses. We followed her to see to a pasture of mares and foals to see the young horse she had offered me to buy. For a nine year old girl who dreamed, loved and wanted to be a horse, this was heaven to be surrounded by mares and babies. I had not been around foals, the foals were curious, soft velvet noses, large inquisitive eyes with a touch of uncertainty as to who I was. I was filled with serene joy, watching, letting them smell my face, and excited to just be there yet moving gently as not to frighten away these most wonderful little creatures. For this little girl, she had entered heaven. Even today, many decades later, the memory is heaven. I remember each mare and foal.
The young horse I purchased would the first horse I trained under the guidance of my dad, Berry’s Books on horse training and the book, Black Beauty. I spent hours just watching horses learning their ways of communication and patterns. In truth, one of my wishes, prayers and dreams was to wake up one day, and be a horse. Because of this desire, when it came time to train my horse, I wanted to train the horse with kindness and compassion not like on the television shows I watched of a horse frightened and bucking.
As a teenager, I began training others’ horses without pay or my dad’s knowledge. Someone would ask me to work with a horse, and I would because I loved the horse. It became known that I did magic with a horse, a time before people were called horse whisperers. After the moving came out, I was named a horse whisperer. But there is no secret, it is communication. Horse are the most communicative animal I have ever been around. A horse “talks” all the time and never, ever shuts up. Horses communicate through visual means of moving a tail, eyelid, nostril. A horse whisperer knows how the horse communicates and sees the communication, even the smallest movement. There are rules of communication with the horse, how to greet and so forth. There is always a dominate horse, and all others follow their lead and direction. Learn how to communicate and then become the dominate “leader” and you become known as a horse whisperer.
Horses are affectionate and need each other. A horse alone is not happy. As a child I was alone and not happy. I would go to the pen or pasture of my horse and the other three horses my dad owned and no longer be alone, or unhappy. I was accepted as one of them. They showed me affection and acceptance that I did not receive from my mother. There was no striving for perfection in hopes of being loved, I was just loved.
I continue to own horses. There have been times in my life I did not have a horse. There were times, I was able to raise horse, and have the inquisitive babies around, my most joyful times. Today, I do not raise horses anymore. Two years ago, my mare birthed the last foal I would raise. I was blessed with my favorite color for a horse, a bay with a large blanket and spots. My grandchildren named her, Sparkle Lilly. This foal will be the last horse I train, her riding training starting this spring. Age catches up with us all, and there comes a time when being the first person on a horse’s back is not a wise choice. Horses will always remain my closest friend, my companion and my passion.
Below is a picture of Sparkle Lilly. Along with being my favorite color and pattern for a horse, she has unique spots. How many hearts can you find?
I am not a person who does a lot of communications through the internet. My most used method is the blogs I compose and post. There is limited use of face book as communication with family and friends. For business, my communication is mostly emails.
My cell phone is used for none of these methods of communication. Although I do keep up with my children and their families mainly through texts and photos sent of what is happening.
Words written in text do not tell the “whole story”. I like to hear the voice of those I am speaking with. Perhaps it is being older, but sometimes a voice is what comforts or tells the truth of what the situation is truly. A voice lets me know who I am really talking with.
Although I do enjoy face time or some visual call from my children and grandchildren allowing me to see my grandchildren and what they are doing at the moment. These face time calls are very helpful when the grandchild is not of speaking age yet. And there is more connection between granny and grandchild with a visual as well as a vocal interaction.
Perhaps due to my age, there are those I still sit down and write a hand written letter to. Most physical mail receive today is advertisement for some product that others think we will be interested in and we are not. Receiving a piece of physical evidence that someone thought of you to write and communicate what they are doing and thinking then sending, brightens the day. While a vocal or facetime call can soon fade in time, a physical letter, something that is touched to remind us that we are not forgotten will always remain.
Online communication will always be with us, allowing us to have a more complete interaction with those who live far away by using face time or zoom or other source. Business is done through online communications almost exclusively, so I have had to adjust. While I desire paper to back up what is spoken or paid, I must do all communications through an internet connection.
This year, 2024, is the year I will be doing more online communication with business and family by starting a you tube channel. With hopes of gaining an audience of potential buyers for my sheep and products. We live in a world of the internet, and to prosper I am joining the internet world with more than a website or blogging.
“Old dogs” or older generations can learn new tricks.
As a child we did not make many road trips. Most of our traveling was to see grandparents, straight there without stops. There was no vacations to destinations such as Disney Land or the Grand Canyon. Although we lived in the area of the Grand Canyon, I did not visit the immense naturally created landmark until I was an adult with my own children.
As a parent, I decided when we made a trip to see grandparents, we would also stop and view landmarks and interesting sites along the route. Nothing is more boring for a child than a two day road trip with no stopping. When we would visit their grandparents, or make long trips it became custom to stop at all historical markers and read each one. Doing so has lead to some interesting discoveries many have not seen.
On one trip to visit their grandparents in Washington state, the timing was when Halle-Bopp comet was passing near the sun and you could see both comet tails at night. So our trip became known as the Hale-Bopp trip. This trip we also decided to follow the Oregon Trail for part of our travels. Following the Oregon Trail, was a longer trip, but a very different route with more things to stop and see. One reason for choosing to take the route along the Oregon Trail, is the game simulation, “Oregon Trail”, had been released and the children were playing the game at school. I wanted to make the game more real to history learning about the Oregon Trail and seeing what remained of the landmark historical event. Each night as we drove to make up time for stopping, we would watch the Hale-Bopp comet.
The second night of our travels, was a lunar eclipse. As we traveled, we would watch the comet on one side of the road, and the lunar eclipse of a full moon on the other side of the road.
Along this trip we learned of a volcano fissure that was once used as a nuclear shelter during the Cold War. We visited a museum on the Oregon Trail, saw the wheel trails created by the many wagons in the lava rock that still exist over a 100 years later. Stayed in Twin Falls, ID and visited the beautiful Twin Falls before heading down the road once more. The children arrived at their grandparents’ home with many stories to share.
After a nice visit we were headed home again by the traditional route we usually traveled. Once we arrived at Salt Lake City, UT, we decided to stop at a new dinosaur museum in the area. This museum had inter active displays in the building, but the exciting attraction for the children was the walking path with various dinosaurs, some were built to actual size like the velociraptor, while the brontosaurus was scaled down. When you walked the path, some dinosaurs could be seen, but velociraptor was hidden in the bushes and trees. We walked by and was startled with a loud roar, and then you saw the raptor running at you with mouth open. Although the raptor was not running, it was posed, the initial fright was real. There was a playground with baby dinosaurs the children could sit, climb and slide down a baby brontosaurus tail.
Years later, my children are grown, they still remember this road trip. My son on taking his family to meet his grandparents, found the volcano fissure and shared the experience with his family as they too followed the Oregon Trail with the wheel treads still in the lava rock. Last summer, my daughter and her family visited the dinosaur museum while in Salt Lake City for a softball tournament. The road trip created fond memories for my children who then wished to share similar moments with their children. Although we never made trips to theme parks like their friend’s and spouses’ families did, we did have memorable and enjoyable unique trips because their mother loves to stop at historical markers.
Right now, I love to have dinner. Truthfully, I am writing this blog as dinner is cooking in the oven. We decided to have pizza tonight. Not my favorite choice, but my husband loves pizza and we have not had pizza for about a month.
My favorite snack is cheese and nuts. I started eating a more protein diet a couple of years back. My body enjoys the protein. Now this is not a meat only diet. Proteins come in various foods. I do eat meat in small quantities. I enjoy nuts.
Breads and pasta make my body feel bloated and yucky. So tonight, after eating pizza I will not feel the greatest. In my household there are others likes and dislikes to consider.
I used to snack on sweets, cookies, candy especially if chocolate was involved. Two years ago, my tastes started changing. I still enjoy chocolate, but consume much less and less often. Although, when I am having a migraine, chocolate eases the head pain. On those days, I will consume a regular month’s consumption of chocolate in a matter of an hour or two.
I also enjoy fruits and vegetable snacks often adding protein to the snack. Celery and peanut butter topped with raisins. Apple and cheese slices with some nuts. The nuts do not matter what type, although I am not fond of cashers.
We all snack, I try to make mine a healthy snack. As I have gained in years of living, I am careful about what I eat and how much.
I live in an area of the country that does not get much snow or snow very often. We have about 9 days of really cold weather, when a winter vortex will arrive in our area with frigid temperatures and frozen rain, but sometimes snow.
The arriving winter cold front or polar vortex, the suggestions on facebook have start appearing, reminding people that Texas handles winter weather a little differently than other parts of the country.
First, all businesses close when any snow hits the ground, or an ice storm. While the number of days is not many, people stock up on food for a month. Any and all prepared meals are sold off the shelves within hours. Although the people prepare for a major event, they do love to play. Rain means mud and time to play. The rare occurrence of snow, means a once in a lifetime chance to go sledding, regardless there are no hills. Four wheelers work wonderful pulling a person over the sparse snow and ice on a piece of cardboard box.
What is really needed in my area is a snow hill. A hill built with a few bumps, for the local population to enjoy a true experience of sledding when it snows. The temperatures do reach a coolness that a snow machine could provide more snow than Old Man Winter. With the attitude of always finding ways to play and enjoy life, the people in this area would jump at the opportunity to do real sledding. An opportunity to add income to my farm by creating a hill for sledding.
Although I have never seen any type of skiing equipment in sports stores, there is the opportunity to build this sledding hill into a ski slope. Perhaps one day Texas will have a ski resort.
He sits on a bookshelf overlooking where I sleep. He watches in silence. His big green eyes have watch me through almost sixty years of life. He never complained as I held him close so many years that his fur became matted and rough. Yet, even today, when a special sadness envelopes me, he is there to give me a hug. The whispers are gone, yet all else remains. He is not as strong as he once was. With time and use, he does not sit well on his own and must lean against the side for support. But he is always there, never to leave watching me as I sleep.
When we were young, we met under a Christmas tree. He sat strong, and proud on the seat of the new red tricycle with my name attached to a small bow. He wore a bow as well, a blue satin ribbon around his neck, kept in place with a big blue bow. I do not know when his satin ribbon disappeared, and I replaced it with a black yarn hair tie, so out of place in today’s fashions.
He as accompanied me since I was two, on every move to a new town. The change of each school. When I would come home fearful of the new kids I faced, and hug him with my arms and tears. He walked with me through my childhood. He followed me through my youth. I never seem to be able to part with him, even as an adult with children. My children never played with him, for he was mine and some what sacred. He was there when marriages failed, children born, to now after decades of years together.
What will be come of him when I am gone? I do not know. Each child knows he is special and dear. They still do not touch, yet look for him in his place with each visit. “You still have him I see.” is all they say when they enter the bedroom.
A strange adventure for a creation so small, says nothing only watches those around. Yet, he keeps his spot through every move, every transition, and every phase. I wonder sometimes if, like the Velveteen Rabbit, he will become real once I am gone.
Me, Myself and I 